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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27227380">From Zero to Alpha</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avrina/pseuds/Avrina'>Avrina</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Between Skin and Fur [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>No Fandom, Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Best Friends, Dom/sub, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family, Family Secrets, Flirting, Friendship, Homoeroticism, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, LGBTQ Character, Lies, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Male Friendship, Manipulation, Native American Character(s), New Family, Nightmares, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Nudity, Pack, Pack Dynamics, Pack Hierarchy, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Post-Divorce, Secrets, Sexual Violence, Siblings, Violence, Werewolf Culture, Werewolf Healing, Werewolf Politics, Werewolf Turning, Werewolves, Wolf Pack, no mates</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:07:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27227380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avrina/pseuds/Avrina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is faced with the shards of his life and wants to catch his breath in his family's log cabin, but is denied this - he is attacked by a wild werewolf.<br/>Of all people, the leader of the Churchrock pack, William Hamilton, saves his life. The Hamiltons give Sam a home, a job and a new future.<br/>But while Sam tries to make friends with his new existence, he has to realize that there is a powerful seething behind the peaceful facade of the pack: might, violence, secrets. And thanks to his connection to the Hamiltons, Sam is right in the middle of all this...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Between Skin and Fur [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983710</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Arrived at the Low Point</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam closed the door behind him, leaned against it and sank to the floor. The bag with his laptop hit the parquet floor with a muffled sound. He leaned his head against the door, the keys slipped from his fingers and for a moment he closed his eyes. <br/>The air smelled musty, although he had left the kitchen window open when he had left earlier; his three weeks of absence smelled almost accusatory. <br/>Tired, he blinked, his gaze wandered and found nothing to hold on to - Stella had taken all the decorations and meaningless little things that were nothing more than dust catchers with her. He had smiled at the knick-knacks before, now he was missing them. The apartment seemed empty, lifeless, impersonal; almost like Sam was feeling since half a year. Even three weeks of business travel across Europe, packed with meetings, hadn't changed anything.</p>
<p>In his trouser pocket the cell phone was vibrating and he actually only pulled it out because it was annoying. "Hey, Val..." he greeted and closed his eyes again.</p>
<p>"You sound like shit," Val, his best friend, greeted back.</p>
<p>"What do you expect?" Sam replied tiredly. "I come back after more than 12 hours of flying with huge jet lag, I'm immediately summoned to the office and now I'm unemployed. Any questions?"</p>
<p>"Nice," was Val's dry comment. He sounded strange, but Sam didn't have the strength to think about it now. "I've got news," Val said after a pause.</p>
<p>"Hmm?"</p>
<p>"The divorce is final."</p>
<p>Sam slipped a sound that was perhaps relieved, perhaps disappointed, perhaps desperate.</p>
<p>"A courier will bring you the documents," Val added, and Sam mumbled:</p>
<p>"Okay."</p>
<p>"Hey... now that you're again officially a free man" - Sam snorted weakly - "the boys want to go to the <em>Blonde Angel</em> later."</p>
<p>Now Sam snorted more distinctly. "What makes you think I'd go in there voluntarily? And why do you sound like you like this idea?"</p>
<p>Val chuckled. "No? No cheap drinks? No strip shows and lap dances? No half-public fifty-dollar-and-only-with-condom-blowjobs? Sam, I'm disappointed."</p>
<p>"Yeah, knowing you, you're deeply disappointed being spared the company of half-naked women."</p>
<p>"And you, my friend, need the company and attention of half-naked women."</p>
<p>"Half a year is not the end of the world..."</p>
<p>"Basically not, no." Val agreed with him. "But knowing you, it won't end with six months of abstinence."</p>
<p>Sam sighed. "The boys don't need me. And I need sleep now."</p>
<p>"Don't change the subject. Your bed is big and empty, Sam, we all know that."</p>
<p>"Val. Please. Can I <em>please</em> grieve about eight years of relationship?" Sam rubbed his temple, then with his thumb across the spot where his wedding ring had been for five years. Eight years of a relationship, five of them married. That wasn't something you could just tuck away in six months.</p>
<p>Now it was Val who sighed. "Don't hold on to a woman like Stella. I know you don't want to hear it, but you were just comfortable."</p>
<p>"You're right, I don't want to hear that." <em>Not again.</em></p>
<p>"She wanted to move in together-"</p>
<p>"Val, please."</p>
<p>"-so you moved in together and moved into the apartments-"</p>
<p>"Val, let it go."</p>
<p>" -which she wanted. She wanted to get married, so-"</p>
<p>"Val, shut up."</p>
<p>"-you proposed, and at the only point-"</p>
<p>"Valentine..."</p>
<p>"-where you protested against, she drops you."</p>
<p>"Valentine, enough." Sam's voice was not as sharp as it should have been to really silence Val, but at least Val's tone became softer, less preachy.</p>
<p>"Sam, for more than eight years, you've dedicated your life entirely to this woman. I'm serious, and I know you know that. You were comfortable and she took advantage of you, to put it bluntly."</p>
<p>"God, Val..." Although he had his eyes closed, Sam rolled them.</p>
<p>"I know how women work."</p>
<p>Sam snorted.</p>
<p>"How many girlfriends have you had, Samuel?"</p>
<p>Two, but that didn't matter now. "Which one of us is gay?" he asked back instead.</p>
<p>"And which one of us is a divorce lawyer?"</p>
<p>Sam sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "None of that matters. I can't just put eight years in the back of the closet." Speaking of which... without his job he wouldn't be able to keep the apartment; he should have moved out right after the breakup, but he had made more than one stupid decision in the last twelve months.</p>
<p>"I know," Val said softly and a car door slammed in the background. "But you have to look ahead. With no wife, no job... you could go to another city. Another state."</p>
<p>"You mean, I should just leave all this shit behind?"</p>
<p>"Just that! Start over! But let me come in first, please, be so kind." So enthusiastic, so sweet.</p>
<p>With a groan, Sam stood up, pressed the door opener and then finished the call.</p>
<p>A minute later Val got out of the elevator, a broad smile on his narrow face. "Welcome back to the States, traveler." First he gave Sam a big, thick envelope, then he shut the door behind himself.</p>
<p>"Courier service doesn't suit you," Sam muttered after a sideways glance at Val, who was still in his office suit, weighed the heavy envelope in his hand for a moment and then put it aside. Val put one hand on his shoulder and turned him halfway around.</p>
<p>"I haven't seen or spoken to you for weeks. I am worried."</p>
<p>Wringing a pitiful smile from himself, Sam looked at his best friend. "That's sweet of you." A wink later, he found himself in a firm embrace and tears welled up in his eyes. Val had been there for him for the last eighteen years and he had no idea how he could ever repay him. Two outsiders who had found each other.<br/>For a moment, Sam was almost glad that Val was gay and therefore didn't believe in this silly <em>'men hugs can't last more than two seconds'</em> rule. Nevertheless, he broke away from Val and chewed, his eyes lowered, on his lower lip.</p>
<p>"I screwed up," he said quietly and looked up fast enough to see Val rolling his eyes before disappearing into the half-open kitchen.</p>
<p>"I'll make you some food if you don't put on the same record again."</p>
<p>"It's true. It's my fault."</p>
<p>Val gave a grunting sigh and stopped in front of the open kitchen cupboard with the pots. "I looked at the file..."</p>
<p>Sam nodded with the request to continue, because although Val's office policy had forbidden him to take Sam's case, Sam had granted him access to his files.</p>
<p>"She left you for sterility, <em>not</em> because you cheated on her." And as if this was a perfectly normal occurrence, and as if Sam hadn't kept this one little point out of hurt pride from him, Val took a pot from the cupboard and filled it with water while Sam made a face. He hated it when Val did that. Although he was right.</p>
<p>"I know," he simply said. Still, it was his extramarital one-night stand that started the whole drama.</p>
<p>"Every man cracks under pressure at some point," Val said, as if the thoughts were written on Sam's forehead. He was right about that too. Stella had put him under pressure with her child wish and a harmless flirtation to get his head clear had turned into a cheat. <br/>She had forgiven him, he had agreed to the baby plans. And because Stella was Stella, she had sent him to the doctor, while she also had herself checked from top to bottom - as if one had to prepare for a pregnancy with all one's might, as if it wasn't something completely normal and natural. <em>Well.</em> He had later ended up in a special clinic where he was told that the only method by which he could have biological children was far above his pay grade. On that snowy Monday, when he held this in written form in his hands, Stella packed her bags.<br/>Val was right. He was right about so many things, but that only added to Sam's soul pain a difficult amount to bear.</p>
<p>"Hey..."</p>
<p>Sam looked up, saw the pasta water bubbling behind Val.</p>
<p>"Would you like me to stay?"</p>
<p>Sam nodded faintly - tomorrow was Saturday, right?- and Val dumped pasta into the water full of verve - enough for at least four persons. His thoughts were already drifting away again when Val flicked right in front of his nose.</p>
<p>"We sleep in the bed," he said seriously and Sam grimaced. "No arguments."</p>
<p>So he made a helpless and at the same time agreeing gesture that almost became a shrug. He had been sleeping on the couch since Stella had left, except for that first night when he had been taken completely by surprise and believed she would come back. Meanwhile, his wedding ring was also on the bedside table and the bedroom had become a large walk-in closet. Without all her clothes, it was strangely ridiculous.</p>
<p>"Any idea where I can get a reasonably-paid job quickly?" It was a lousy attempt to change the subject.</p>
<p>"You might want to take the time to take care of yourself," Val returned and looked at him critically before raising his hand and patting Sam's cheek. "Beard doesn't suit you, you need a haircut and first of all a shower. You stink of airplane."</p>
<p>"I know." Sam rolled his eyes, but before he could say more, Val was already moving on:</p>
<p>"Why don't you take some <em>real</em> time for yourself?"</p>
<p>Reluctantly, Sam blinked at him.</p>
<p>"I know you're not the type for spas and the like, but what about your family's log cabin? No internet, lots of nature, miles between you and everything else..." Val opened a jar of instant pasta sauce and poured the contents into a second pot. "Hmm?"</p>
<p>"I don't know. I haven't been there for ages. And never alone."</p>
<p>"What do you mean by <em>ages</em>?"</p>
<p>"Christmas two years ago." Last year he spent Christmas with Stella and her family.</p>
<p>"Well, it's about time. A walk in the fresh air will do you good. A little time just for you, just for <em>Sam</em>."</p>
<p>And because Sam didn't have the energy for more discussions with a personality like Val, he just nodded.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>The travel bag slipped off the couch after Sam had taken three steps away to take two books from the shelf. The tidy packed things scattered untidily on the floor and he sighed annoyed. You would think the world was conspiring against him. He took the books and flinched as the cell phone on the living room table vibrated furiously.</p>
<p>"Uncle Harold... good morning." Sam was a little surprised because his uncle usually went out to draw on Saturday mornings, deliberately not taking his phone with him.</p>
<p>"Sam..." The otherwise so happy man sounded incredibly tired.</p>
<p>"Did something happen?"</p>
<p>"Patrick has disappeared."</p>
<p>"Pardon?" Sam, stunned, paused and the traveling bag, which had just been put back on the couch, started to slip again.</p>
<p>"Patrick has been missing for three days. I know you were in Europe, but... you wouldn't happen to know anything?"</p>
<p>Sam uttered a choked sound. Not that, too. His cousin Patrick, barely a year younger than himself, was like a brother to him and after Val, the closest one to him. And now he had disappeared?</p>
<p>"No," he said. "We wanted to decide when to go to the Pumpkin Days after I got back." That was before Sam started his business trip. "You could ask Valentine," he added.</p>
<p>"Hmm..." Harold went, "I will. Thank you." And then he just hung up.</p>
<p>Speechless, Sam stared at his phone and ran his fingers through his hair. Although he had been terribly exhausted, he had talked to Val for a long time and he realized by now that he was completely done. He didn't have the capacity to stand by his family now. He needed a few days and then... Damn. The log cabin was full of <em>family</em>.</p>
<p><em>"Drive carefully,"</em> a message from Val popped up, and Sam swept it aside, getting numb.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>After Sam picked up the spare keys from Mrs. Miller in the village of Riverside, he made a quick detour to the supermarket and then drove the not quite twenty minutes to the small log cabin settlement on the edge of the forest. Mrs. Miller had warned him, but the sight of the Carter's house burnt down was still a shock. It was said that he, Patrick and the Carter twins had used every opportunity since their first steps to fool around together.</p>
<p>With a bad feeling in his stomach, he parked in the long driveway of the family home and two minutes later he pushed the door shut behind him with his foot, balancing his travel bag, shopping and keys. The house smelled musty, but differently musty than his own apartment, because on the one hand the house was made of wood and on the other hand the ventilation flap in the fireplace was not airtight. With his elbow he searched for the light switch - it was already pretty gloomy in here - and then blinked against the light. <br/>In the kitchen there was a dusty paper with a note in his grandmother's handwriting regarding washed bedding lying at the neighbors' house, but before Sam could decipher the name, the paper slipped to the floor and <em>of course</em> directly under one of the cupboards due to his attempt to put the groceries on the kitchen counter.<br/>After a sigh, he cleared the things away and then went out onto the small terrace next to the house - immediately the phone reported he had missed three calls from Val.</p>
<p>"Did you arrive safely?" Val asked instead of a greeting when Sam called him back.</p>
<p>"I wrote you in Riverside. And yes, everything is fine. Stop mothering me."</p>
<p>"I spoke to Harold. Give him a call when you get back into town."</p>
<p>"Okay..." Sam nodded, although Val, of course, did not see it, and let his gaze wander over the forest, which, thanks to the twilight, was sinking more and more into the gray of the night with each passing minute. "I think I'll go for a walk in a minute."</p>
<p>"It's getting dark," Val immediately remarked critically.</p>
<p>"I know. But I'll take a flashlight with me, leave the lights on in the house and just take a walk around the settlement. I have to stretch my legs," Sam returned.</p>
<p>"Okay. Good boy."</p>
<p>
  <em>"Woof."</em>
</p>
<p>"Idiot."</p>
<p>"Idiot yourself."</p>
<p>"Love you too."</p>
<p>Sam laughed softly. "I'll call you tomorrow."</p>
<p>"Okay..." Sam had the impression that Val wanted to say more, but he left it at a: "Until tomorrow, Sam."</p>
<p>"Until tomorrow, Val." Sam hung up and turned around. Somewhere behind him in the kitchen there had to be a flashlight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Shadows of the Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The flashlight from the kitchen flickered once briefly and then went out. <em>Great.</em> And the batteries from that thing were an unusual size. Even better.</p>
<p>Sam sighed and went on a search - either for batteries or another flashlight. On the ground floor in the hall dresser he found a whole compartment full of batteries of all sizes, but only one of the kind needed for the flashlight, not two.<br/>Again, Sam wondered if the world suddenly had something against him and if so, what. Had he made some mistake he was not aware of?<br/>With a shake of his head he turned towards the stairs and stopped right on the second step. One side of the stairs was open to the living room, the other side had a wall and it was full of photos.</p>
<p>Patrick could be seen in his university graduation outfit and Sam's stomach clenched at the thought that he might never see his cousin again. Patrick was not the type of guy who disappeared without a word; like his father Harold, he was an incredibly cheerful man and a very social one at that, very family oriented and if there was anything he didn't discuss with his family, he talked to his best friend Sven or to Val.</p>
<p>There were childhood photos of Sam, Patrick and his older brother Gregory and Sam wondered- completely out of context- if he had congratulated Greg on his birthday a few weeks ago. His relationship with Greg had always been rather cool.</p>
<p>Sam paused at the photo for his tenth birthday, even if it was more of a habit. A few days after that day, his parents had died in a car accident and Sam had lost his memory; because everyone was making such a fuss about his parents, whom he didn't remember and whose pictures made him feel nothing, he had started to pretend. He could see that he looked a lot like his mother, but that's where it stopped. <em>Liz</em> and <em>Bert</em> were just names to him, just figures, nothing more. Uncle Harold- Mom's older brother- and his wife Cynthia had taken Sam in and he had been accepted as their third son. That had been enough for him.</p>
<p>Sam tore himself away from the photos and searched the upstairs bedrooms, but paused when he reached his grandparents'. He couldn't remember ever having been in there and hesitantly opened the door. There was a faint smell of lavender and roses and something flashed up in the light - more photos. A little curious, he took a step towards them, but then realized that they were all wedding photos of family members and turned away. He really didn't need that now. Stella had been here a few times, but it was easy to leave her out of the picture, because this was a place of his family and full of old memories that Stella couldn't overlay. <br/>Val's idea to come here had been good.</p>
<p>Instead, he discovered a big heavy flashlight on his grandma's bedside table. It worked, and Sam prayed that the batteries wouldn't die in the middle of it all. On his way back to the stairs, his eyes fell on a dark spot in the wooden floor, close to the bathroom door, and he had to grin. Patrick had thrown up there after he and Sam stole a piece of cake in the middle of the night. A pretty big piece of cake, which probably wasn't good anymore, but Sam had at least made it to the bathroom before he puked. Since then they both avoided cream cakes.</p>
<p>With a smile, Sam hurried down the stairs and slipped into his jacket. Although it wouldn't be of much use to him, he slipped his phone into his jacket pocket and then stepped outside. Only the Jacksons' and Baxters' log cabins were lit and since there were no street lights, Sam clicked the flashlight directly on.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>The air was cool, almost cold, and Sam shivered. Slowly he strolled along the road, sucked in the air that was so fresh and clear; it smelled like damp forest. He used to spend hours with his grandma in the woods at this time of year picking mushrooms - he didn't eat them, but collecting them was fun. He had learned a lot about nature - and had forgotten most of it in the meantime - because his grandma came from the area and knew every tree by heart. They were beautiful memories, warm memories, and when he thought back like that, her conspiratorial wink flashed through them. As if they shared something that no one else shared. <br/>Strange that this had survived the difficult teenage years. Incredible how old he suddenly felt.</p>
<p>With a sigh he stopped at the end of the settlement. The road continued for about a mile along the summer pastures of some private farmers from Riverside before it met the main road. He didn't want to turn back yet and although his city sneakers would definitely not thank him for it, he stepped next to the Grant's garden onto the small path that led around the outside of the settlement.</p>
<p>The tall wild grasses, wet and yellowing, grazed his legs- too weak to feel it- and here and there it rustled. <br/>The Baxter's dogs, who had barked only briefly when the car passed by, now emitted only a greeting <em>'woof'</em>, as if they recognized Sam by his steps. One of the four- or were there five?- whimpered low. <br/>Sam glanced through the garden towards the house, but even though the light was on, not even dancing shadows were visible behind the thin curtains.</p>
<p>It was peaceful and quiet, but Sam didn't want to call it lonely. He liked it here and regretted very much that he hadn't accompanied his family to this place more often in the last years. He had let his job take too much of him. And Stella.<br/>Stella, with the night-black hair and sapphire blue eyes, had turned his head right at their first meeting on the college campus - and unfortunately had a boyfriend. In retrospect, it probably should have been a warning sign that she invited Sam for a coffee the day after she broke up. But well, the child had fallen into the well deeply and if it went to Val, Sam's divorce was one of the cleanest in the archives of his law firm.</p>
<p>A flash of light in the bushes at the edge of the forest made Sam pause. He heard no rustling, so it was probably not a startled animal. Slowly he let the flashlight glide over the bushes, but the flash did not occur a second time. Inwardly he shrugged and walked on, in a moment he would reach the spot where the road of the settlement ended at a barrier towards the forest.</p>
<p>And then he stopped, completely perplexed, because there was a dog sitting on the road, right in front of the barrier. At first he thought of one of the Baxters' German Shepherd mixed breeds, but the light of the flashlight was enough to tell him that the fur was much too grey for that. <br/>The dog looked at him, Sam looked back. The animal looked emaciated and shaggy, but basically Sam had no idea about dogs and just as he started to discuss with himself what he should do now, a second dog came walking up. Only that Sam understood at the sight that these were not dogs but wolves. <em>Ugh.</em></p>
<p>The eyes of the wolves lit up and Sam swallowed. It was perhaps fifty yards to the garden gate of the log cabin, but not ten yards away- He frowned as the sitting wolf tilted his head and began to nod as if someone had said something he agreed with. Stunned, Sam stared at the wolf, who stood up and shook himself as if he was wet. And then he flinched back as the wolves jumped at him.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Sam was trembling all over his body. He was so unbelievably cold, although strangely enough he felt like he was glowing inside. And he was in pain. Because he smelled blood, he linked that to the thought that he must have seriously hurt himself, but something was wrong with it. He couldn't figure it out, because his head was throbbing.</p>
<p>A woman's voice sounded, critical but at the same time worried, and a man answered. Sam couldn't understand the words, but he didn't feel it was important either. The woman spoke again, asked something, but since she didn't give his name, Sam didn't feel addressed. The man gave an almost brusque answer and then Sam felt a cold hand on his glowing, painfully throbbing forehead.</p>
<p>"He won't make it," the woman said and his mom returned:</p>
<p>"The fever juice takes time to work."</p>
<p>"I would still prefer to call Doctor Hastings. That's better than sitting in the emergency room afterwards," nagged his dad.</p>
<p>"Then call him, for God's sake! A little fever is no end of the world." His mom was pissed, but whether it was because of his dad or because he was sick, Sam couldn't say. He pressed his stuffed owl against him, shivering and sweating, wishing his mom would take him in her arms and hold him tight; the trembling hurt.</p>
<p>"He's not going to make it, Will," the woman said, now sounding as if it were an unfortunate, if undeniable, fact.</p>
<p>"We'll see about that," the man- Will- returned grumbling.</p>
<p>Sam felt hands reaching out to him, cold air against bare skin, and then it was as if his left upper arm was crushed. He screamed, trying to escape the pain, but something was holding him so tightly that he couldn't move. <br/>The scream ended when he ran out of air, but the pain remained. He gasped and sobbed suffocated and screamed again as the tremendous pain repeated on his right thigh. His arm was throbbing, but the sensation was almost drowning next to the other. <br/>His vocal chords protested, but he couldn't stop screaming, broken only by harsh sobs and shrill whimpers. <br/>As a third tearing pain blossomed on the back of his right shoulder, simultaneous white spots exploded before his eyes, though he could not have told whether they were open or closed.  <br/>In the middle of another scream, his vocal cords failed to work. He cried and sobbed, and when his muscles seemed to do the opposite of what they were supposed to do, more than everything he wanted it all to just stop. Maybe he even made this request verbally, he didn't know, just heard the blood rushing in his ears and heard a strange crackling sound all over his body just like he felt it. <br/>However, between all the painful agony, there was a soft touch on his cheek and then came the Nothing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. At the Edge of a New World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The whispering of voices called Sam back - to say it would wake him would be too much. It was warm around him, the voices seemed friendly and something told him he was safe. Somewhere far away there was pain, but that didn't matter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"The fever went down," a woman said.</p>
<p>"Good. He must eat," a man said, and then footsteps went away.</p>
<p>Sam blinked and surprised himself with it. A split second earlier he hadn't felt up to it, but suddenly he was surprisingly awake.</p>
<p>"Hello," said the woman as she stepped to the bed where he was lying. A narrow bed in a spartanly furnished room which strangely enough was only lit by a candle on the bedside table; the curtains were drawn. The woman smiled kindly at him, the candlelight making her dark brown hair look as if dusted with gold powder.</p>
<p>For a moment Sam was fascinated by the sight, then he blinked and tore himself away.</p>
<p>"Your name is Samuel, isn't it?"</p>
<p>He nodded. The movement hurt. "Where-", talking hurt even more, "where am I? What happened?" The room didn't look like a hospital and the woman was wearing normal street clothes.</p>
<p>"At the Hamilton Mansion. I'm Michelle Hamilton." She nodded a greeting and he nodded back because he didn't know what to say. "Do you remember anything?"</p>
<p>With a frown, he tried to remember the last thing he had done. "I went for a walk." He had been thinking, revisiting memories.</p>
<p>"You were attacked by wolves," she said gently, but with a surprising abruptness that made Sam gasp for air.</p>
<p>"Excuse me?" But when she just nodded, he listened inside himself, fought his way out from under the blankets and into a sitting position, noting two things: he was wearing a T-shirt and shorts not belonging to him, and he seemed to be unharmed. Apart from the pain which increased with every heartbeat...</p>
<p>"You're in pain, aren't you?" she wanted to know compassionately.</p>
<p>"Yeah..." Even as he breathed out the word, his jaws began to hurt, as they hadn't even after the wisdom tooth surgery. He pressed both hands to his cheeks and groaned quietly.</p>
<p>"Here." Michelle had taken a glass of water from a small table in the corner and handed it to him, along with what after blinking turned out to be a blister of a painkiller pack. She seemed worried in an almost tense way and then said apologetically: "The effect won't last long, but it should clear your head."</p>
<p>He pricked a pill free and rinsed it down with a sip of water. <br/>Attacked by wolves? Right by the log cabin settlement? With no visible injuries? Even with the piercing pain in his skull, it seemed completely nonsense to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He must have dozed off sitting because he flinched when Michelle approached him.</p>
<p>"Samuel? This is my husband, William."</p>
<p>"Good-" Suddenly it dawned on him that he had no idea what time of day it was. "Sir," he said instead, because William was probably twice his age. And a Native American. Although there were two Native American Reservations near here, Sam was irritated by this fact, because the inhabitants of exactly these reservations were considered to be particularly hostile to <em>Modern American</em> culture.</p>
<p>"Oh, no, William is enough," William said with a smile. "Would you like something to eat as long as the painkillers work?" He held a tray with a silver hood in his hand.</p>
<p>In fact, Sam was terribly hungry now that the food was within his grasp. "Yes," he said quietly, "I'd love to. Thank you."</p>
<p>"No, no, don't get up," William said hurriedly as Sam tried to do so. He flipped legs out of the tray and then placed it in Sam's lap.</p>
<p>"Thank you," he muttered again, feeling a little stupid because the couple was watching him.</p>
<p>Michelle lifted the hood off a bowl of soup and Sam grabbed the spoon, but then stopped.</p>
<p>"Could you tell me what happened?" he asked after a quick sideways glance.</p>
<p>"Well, we were out walking and heard screams, when we went to check, we found you," William said seriously and Sam frowned.</p>
<p>"I'm unhurt." Indicatively, he raised his arms. Wild wolves would hardly have bothered to tenderly peel the clothes off his body.</p>
<p>Michelle had folded her arms in front of her chest and had taken a step back, disappearing into the shadows in an almost eerie way, and William sighed.</p>
<p>"Eat."</p>
<p>Sam was sure he would get an explanation after the meal, so he started eating. It was a vegetable soup with strange gray-brown pieces in it, which squeaked weirdly when he chewed them, and which had an intense flavor. "What exactly is this?"</p>
<p>"Chicken hearts."</p>
<p>"Ugh..." He almost spat out the bite. Intestines. <em>Urgh</em>. He spooned the rest of the soup around the meat and just as his stomach felt warm and calm, the dull feeling in his head disappeared more and more; the rest of his body was almost painless.</p>
<p>"Thank you," he said again, returning Michelle's smile a little tense. William radiated an incredible calm, but that didn't answer his questions.</p>
<p>"You were attacked by wolves," Michelle said again. "But not just any wolves, but wild werewolves."</p>
<p>"We-werewolves? You're kidding, they're mythical creatures." It was so absurd that Sam giggled.</p>
<p>"No, Samuel, it's no joke." She was serious and shook her head a little.</p>
<p>"You said it yourself: you're obviously unharmed," William said and Sam looked at him uncertainly. His amber eyes glowed scary in the candlelight.</p>
<p>The whole situation seemed like a bad joke to him. A spartan room, candlelight, chicken hearts and werewolves. A very, very bad joke.</p>
<p>"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this in such a harsh way, but we saved your life," William continued after a tiny pause. "We made you one of us."</p>
<p>Sam blinked at him. "What?"</p>
<p>"William is the leader of our pack," Michelle said with audible affection and pride. "He's the one who transformed you to save you from death. You belong to us now- to our pack and our family."</p>
<p>"But-" A very, very <em>sick</em> joke. Sam looked from one to another and back. "What?"</p>
<p>Michelle and William smiled sympathetically, but it was so absurd... so fucking absurd! And they meant it!</p>
<p>"Excuse me, but..." Sam forgot what he wanted to say when William's sharp features suddenly blurred and changed. Speechless, he stared at the man with the wolf's head, whose golden yellow eyes blinked slowly.</p>
<p>And then he screamed.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>When Sam came to his senses, William sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to him. He squealed, tried to back away and was too slow as William reached for his wrist. Almost immediately Sam calmed down, though, the amber eyes were not wild but warm, and the smile was friendly.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," William said quietly and gently. "I was born a werewolf, but I'm aware of what you are going through. Nevertheless, I think an existence like this is better than death."</p>
<p>Sam nodded silently. He trembled a little and felt a sob stuck in his throat.</p>
<p>"Since I have transformed you, it binds you to me - you could say you are now my adopted son. I am also the leader of the pack, the supreme alpha, and I think you know enough werewolf stories to know what that means."</p>
<p>Sam nodded again. A wolf had to obey its alpha.</p>
<p>"It will take a while for your transformation to be complete enough for you to take wolf form. When the time comes, we will discuss how to proceed, but until then... you will have to leave the mansion. It's something like the center of the pack, and so many unknown werewolves are no good for you now. I will take you to my son Jack, he will watch over you and introduce you to our world."</p>
<p>Sam swallowed and nodded. "What... what do you mean, <em>how to proceed</em>?" he asked faintly.</p>
<p>"Well, you're not from here." William smiled and his warm hand, rough from working, let go of Sam. "You can stay here or go back to your hometown, but that's entirely your decision, after all, I don't know your circumstances."</p>
<p>"I..." Sam rubbed his wrist. "I don't know..."</p>
<p>"Not now, Samuel. It can wait."</p>
<p>His head was spinning. That was what Val had said, wasn't it? Leave town, leave everything behind, start over somewhere else.</p>
<p>Val!</p>
<p>"I have to... where are my things?" His tone was sharper than intended and William raised an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"There's not much of your clothes left; Michelle is getting you fresh ones. I guess she's bringing your wallet and phone, too."</p>
<p>"I have to make a phone call," Sam said firmly and William nodded.</p>
<p>"If it's about your job, I can help you."</p>
<p>"No, I need to talk to my best friend, he'll be worried. And I need a bathroom."</p>
<p>William chuckled quietly and rose from the edge of the bed. "Right across the hallway. Ah, Michelle."</p>
<p>Michelle had opened the door- without knocking, as Sam noticed- and entered with a bundle of clothes in her arms. "You're looking much better," she almost cheerfully remarked and handed him the clothes- his wallet and phone were on top.</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>After visiting the bathroom and wearing clean clothes which fitted surprisingly well, Sam turned to his phone. Not only was he horrified to discover that it was late Monday morning, he had almost a hundred missed calls from Val, and the WhatsApp chat was almost out of control.</p>
<p><em>"SAM!"</em> Val literally shouted on the phone.</p>
<p>"Hey, Val," Sam said with a calmness he didn't really feel. He stepped to the window and pulled back the curtains - behind which lay a patch of garden and next to it an autumnal deciduous forest.</p>
<p>"Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea how worried I was? Where are you? What happened?"</p>
<p>"Hey, it's okay," Sam interrupted Val's flood of words. Nothing was really <em>okay</em>, but as long as he didn't understand it himself, he didn't even have to think about telling Val about it.</p>
<p>"God, Sam!" Val was almost sobbing. "It's <em>not</em> okay! Patrick disappears and then..."</p>
<p><em>Oh.</em> Right. Sam's stomach clenched. "No, Val... listen... I..." He had no idea what to say.</p>
<p>"Where are you? What happened?"</p>
<p>"I..." Lie, Sam, lie... fast! "I'm at the hospital in Churchrock" - he wasn't sure if that was even true, but maybe Val could do something with the town name - "I had a... a kind of fit."</p>
<p>Val sucked in the air with a hiss.</p>
<p>"I'm fine, really," Sam said quickly, his fingers unconsciously playing with the curtain hem. "The doctors say I'm fine, and they don't know what it was."</p>
<p>"Shall I come and get you?" Val didn't sound reassured at all.</p>
<p>"No, I'm fine, really. I'm just going to stay here for a few days. Isn't that what you wanted?"</p>
<p>"But not like <em>this</em>!"</p>
<p>"I know." Sam forced himself to smile because he knew Val would hear it. "But it looks like my body agreed with you, too. I need to take a break."</p>
<p>Again, Val took an audible breath, but he was silent for a moment. "Okay. Okay, if you need anything..."</p>
<p>"I know. Thanks." Now Sam's smile became real, but at the same time tears welled up in his eyes. "I... I guess I really need... time. For me. I'll call you later, okay?" He shut his mouth so he wouldn't stammer any more bullshit.</p>
<p>"Okay, Sam, really, if you need me, I'll come to you."</p>
<p>"No. No, it's okay."</p>
<p>"Okay. Then...give me a call, right?"</p>
<p>"I will." Sam nodded to his words and then hung up before leaning his forehead against the window.</p>
<p>Werewolves. <em>Seriously?</em> But as completely unbelievable as it sounded, the image of William with a wolf's head had burned itself into his memory and something about this man made Sam want to believe him. </p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Heavy rain clouds darkened the sky. Sam looked at the forests around him and nodded inwardly when he saw the <em>'Welcome to Churchrock'</em> sign.</p>
<p>William, who was driving the heavy jeep, pressed a button on the steering wheel. "Call Jack." Almost immediately, the phone, which was in a fixture, came to life.</p>
<p>"Hey Dad..." a- according to the voice - young man answered.</p>
<p>"Jack, I'll bring Samuel over," William said in a way that implied they had talked about it before.</p>
<p>"Already?"</p>
<p>Sam got a quick glance.</p>
<p>"He took it better than expected."</p>
<p><em>Well.</em> Sam might appear calm on the outside, but a not-so-small part of him had an almost hysterical fit- partly because the rest of him remained so calm.</p>
<p>"That's good," Jack said and William nodded.</p>
<p>"We'll be there in ten minutes. And Jack..."</p>
<p>"Yeah, Dad?"</p>
<p>"Put some clothes on."</p>
<p>The answer was an annoyed sigh, then the connection broke.</p>
<p>A little irritated, Sam looked at the phone for a moment before he turned his attention back to the city. Churchrock was green and grey in equal measure and the latter was not only due to the weather. Sam had the impression that they had tried to redevelop the city and had only done it half-heartedly or had already given up after halfway through. And yet there was something cozy about it.</p>
<p>"And here we are..." William stopped in a street that looked like all the others, in front of a house that looked like all the others; only a youthful chestnut tree stood on the border between two front gardens.</p>
<p>Sam got out of the jeep and looked up at the house, it only had five floors and had probably been painted white a few years ago, now it was a strange yellow-gray.</p>
<p>William waved him to the front door and pressed a doorbell unmistakably. "It's us," he said simply as it buzzed, then the door clicked open. "Third floor, left."</p>
<p>"You're not coming up?" Sam asked in surprise and William shook his head regretfully.</p>
<p>"Cases like you mean a lot of paperwork."</p>
<p>"Oh..."</p>
<p>"Jack won't eat you up, I promise." A warm smile spread across William's face. "Nibbling at most, but only if you want to." He winked.</p>
<p>"Uh... okay...?" This reminded him a bit of the jokes Val made about himself. He got a friendly pat on the shoulder and nodded at William, then he entered the house and climbed the stairs.</p>
<p>The first thing he saw of Jack was bare feet. Then Sam lifted his eyes- dark jeans, dark t-shirt- and found a younger, more smoothly drawn version of William. Jack smiled and his amber eyes sparkled in the dim hallway lights. "So you are Samuel."</p>
<p>Sam left the last steps behind and could not get beyond a shy smile. "Sam is enough." He held out his hand to Jack.</p>
<p>"Jack. Come on in and make yourself at home."</p>
<p>With an inviting gesture, Sam was waved in and he entered a small entrance hall. "I don't want to be any trouble..."</p>
<p>"Oh no, I have a guest room." Jack now grinned and walked backwards to examine Sam. "And if you decide to stay, you can call it home for a few weeks more."</p>
<p>"Thanks." Sam stepped out of the entrance hall into a large living room and involuntarily let his eyes wander. To the right was a large kitchen, a small bathroom and a locked room, straight ahead was a narrow hallway with more doors. And then he got stuck on a large canvas print. Three wolves could be seen on it, majestic, unimpressed, subliminally dangerous, although one of them seemed to be a cub.</p>
<p>Jack, who had apparently followed Sam's gaze, explained: "That's my mom, my sister and me. Alice was practically still a cub then."</p>
<p>Sam nodded absently and saw again William with wolf's head in front of him.</p>
<p>"In two weeks at the latest, you'll be able to look like that."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A Safe Place</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam stared at the canvas print. Wolves. <em>Werewolves</em>. Weakly he shook his head.</p><p>"Would you like something to eat or drink?" Jack asked gently and Sam winced.</p><p>"Yes. Thank you." A beautifully crafted wooden clock on the wall told him that it was almost two in the afternoon, but his sense of time was completely confused. "Water, please." He caught Jack's critical gaze.</p><p>"I have more than that. Juice, something bubbly... alcohol."</p><p>Sam cracked a wry smile. "If I start drinking now, I may never stop."</p><p>But Jack grinned. "By the time your transformation is complete, you'd have to settle down in a distillery to get drunk. We are alcohol resistant."</p><p>"Oh."</p><p>"And don't get sick. And heal extremely fast." Jack went into the kitchen and got Sam a glass of water. "Are you still in pain?" he asked, and Sam shook his head.</p><p>But he had only taken a few sips when he suddenly felt hot. Almost immediately he began to sweat heavily and still shiver.</p><p>"Sit down," Jack said and took the glass from him.</p><p>Sam let himself fall on the dark green couch and moaned because the movement and the impact caused all joints and bones to hurt. He couldn't even describe the feeling, except that it felt like every single cell of his body was hurting. Which, when viewed soberly, was probably not so far from the truth - provided he allowed the thought of becoming a werewolf.</p><p>"Take."</p><p>He looked up as Jack handed him a pill and the glass. He laboriously choked down the painkillers and then curled up, pressing his face halfway against the soft material of the couch and trying not to cry in pain. He registered that Jack wrapped him in a blanket and then made a phone call, but Sam didn't understand a word, only heard his name a few times.</p><p>"Sam?"</p><p>He raised his eyes, sweat ran down his face, but at the same time he had the feeling of freezing.</p><p>Jack looked down at him with concern. "Can I hold you?"</p><p>Sam could barely manage a decent nod. He was one of those people who needed a lot of physical contact and if Val had been here he would have thrown himself into his embrace long ago. The movement of the couch as Jack sat down shook Sam to the core, and Jack's touch hurt even through the blanket and clothes.</p><p>"Shh...", Jack gently made and pulled Sam towards him. "Don't fight it, let it happen, let it out..."</p><p>Now Sam started to cry and although he was definitely not religious, he prayed that it would stop soon.</p><p>"Shh... I'm here, I got you... relax, just let it come..."</p><p>Sam gasped, but as Jack's cheek pressed against his forehead, some of his tension ebbed away and the pain level dropped almost immediately. Jack gently talked to him, and after a while began to scratch both the back of his neck and the back of his head and Sam's tears dried up. Like William, Jack was surrounded by a cloud of security and trust and Sam relaxed a little more, thinking of warm summer forests with refreshing ponds in them; sunlight sparkling between leaves and needles; rough bark under his fingers...</p><p>~</p><p>Sam fell off the couch and banged his elbow on the coffee table in a very painful way. "Ah..." He moaned and heard Jack giggling.</p><p>"That was a short nap."</p><p>"What?" Sam twisted his neck halfway up and looked headfirst at Jack, who stretched out a hand, smiling.</p><p>"It's not even 3:00. How about a sandwich now, and I'll cook for dinner?"</p><p>Sam's stomach demanded food, but the rest of his intestines demanded a toilet. He let Jack help him to his feet and then staggered into the bathroom.</p><p> </p><p>As he looked in the mirror, a ghost stared back at him. Unshaven, his grey-green eyes dull and bloodshot, his dirty blonde hair too long for the original haircut. He washed his hands and then his face, rinsed his mouth and felt empty. Exhausted.</p><p>"Hey...", he started faintly as he left the bathroom, "I'd really appreciate a sandwich right now..."</p><p>"Yup, we're done," Jack called from the kitchen and Sam followed the call. Not just one, but three sandwiches were ready and Jack smiled crookedly. "Unfortunately, I don't have any experience with transformations, but my dad said it uses a lot of energy. So... eat. If you feel better afterwards, we could go out for some fresh air."</p><p>Sam sat down at the dinner table, nodded and reached for the first sandwich. Starved as he was, he gulped down all three of them and although he felt a little nauseous afterwards, he felt much better.</p><p>"Thanks, Jack."</p><p>"You're welcome. I made up your bed for you. Shall I show you the room?"</p><p>Sam nodded and got a tour of the apartment, which was huge; the apartment building didn't look like it would house such large units from the outside.</p><p>In the 'day area' of the apartment there was Jack's study in addition to the already known rooms, in the 'night area', as he called it, there was Jack's bedroom, an unused small room, a storeroom, a large bathroom, the guest room, which smelled of freshly washed laundry, and the so-called gallery.</p><p>"Wow..." Astonished, Sam entered the aforementioned gallery, whose large outer wall was completely glazed. The view of the green courtyard was not very exciting, but the room was bright and cozy, in the middle was a small table with chairs, on one side was a kind of drawing table. "Wow... I mean, this is beautiful." On the walls were more canvas prints with flowers, forest and a close-up of a wolf. He looked at the latter for a moment.<br/>"Is that you?" The question he had to ask, although a certain uneasiness crept into his stomach.</p><p>Jack nodded with a wry grin. "A bit narcissistic, I know..." He shrugged. "But that's just the way I am."</p><p>That made Sam smile. "At least it's not a nude..." Val had a, uh, very <em>impressive</em> one of those hanging in his bedroom.</p><p>Jack laughed. "They belong into the bedroom, Sam." Sam hadn't seen it from the inside and with Jack winking, he probably didn't want to. "Ready for a walk to the supermarket? Or are we gonna take a tour of the city by car and stop at the supermarket afterwards?"</p><p>Sam listened into himself for a moment. He felt good, but that strange attack earlier had also come out of nowhere.</p><p>Jack seemed to understand his thoughts. "We can start small."</p><p>Sam nodded thoughtfully, but had the feeling that a car could get him home faster than if he collapsed on foot somewhere. He sucked his lower lip and looked at Jack, who had come a few steps closer with his hands in his pockets. His encouraging smile made Sam nod again. "Show me your city."</p><p>~</p><p>Jack responded to the request thoroughly and drove Sam around Churchrock for almost two hours, yakking non-stop - though in a very pleasant way. Finally they turned into an industrial area.</p><p>"...and here is my legacy."</p><p>Sam raised an eyebrow and Jack grinned.</p><p>"My father may be the leader of the pack, but that's no way to make money." He turned into a yard with several piles of logs on one side. "The Hamiltons, my mother's side, have been in the furniture business for a small eternity. All handmade, of course." He parked in a marked parking lot close to something that was probably the main entrance.</p><p>As Sam slipped out of the big car, the smell of freshly cut wood, resin and generally <em>forest</em> hit him like a hammer. There was something almost intoxicating about it. Slowly he followed Jack into the building.<br/>There was a small reception area and the older woman sitting there greeted him friendly.</p><p>"Hello, Jack."</p><p>"How are you?" Jack indicated a bow, which was acknowledged by a hearty laugh, while Sam simply mumbled <em>'hello'</em>. Without further ado they stepped through a heavy door and Sam was amazed again.<br/>In front of him was a large production hall with many small work tables, countless workbenches, tools of all sizes and wood. A lot of wood. Everywhere. In all shapes, colors, sizes and stages of processing. Here the smell of wax, polish and stain was added and Sam swallowed.</p><p>"Wow..."</p><p>"Impressive, isn't it?" Jack asked proudly.</p><p>"Show-off," Sam muttered half-heartedly and received a slap on the shoulder.</p><p>"Maybe a little. It's in my nature, I'm sorry." He paused and looked at Sam, who suddenly felt quite small, even though Jack was only inches taller than him. "I'm sorry," Jack repeated, making a face and the strange feeling disappeared. "I'm an Alpha and you are unratable as a ... hmm ... newborn werewolf." Again he paused and then patted Sam on the shoulder, much more gently though.<br/>"Probably we should both be happy that my wolf chose to impress and not to intimidate aggressively."</p><p>"Probably...", Sam murmured, although he wasn't sure what to make of that statement. Uncertain, he wanted to know: "But you do control the wolf, don't you?" It sounded terribly silly.</p><p>"99%, yes. Maybe a little less, you shouldn't underestimate the instincts." Jack nodded seriously and then led him around the hall, enthusiastically explaining.</p><p>Since Sam knew nothing about wood or furniture, he let it all rush past him a little and instead looked at the things being produced there. There was a monstrosity that looked like a desk; there was something that probably became a chest of drawers. As they climbed a flight of stairs to a gallery, Jack sighed melancholy.</p><p>"If someone would take my office job, I would be able to stand down there. But no, the paperwork is stuck on me."</p><p>"What are you doing?" Sam wanted to know; at least he knew about office work and papers.</p><p>"I take care of the orders and customer communications. And, frankly, I hate it."</p><p>"So why do you do it?"</p><p>"Because my mom and Alice have enough to do with the rest of the office stuff. My grandpa and my uncle take care of the materials and tools, two of my cousins work down there - though not at the moment - and my third cousin does the marketing." Jack sighed again.</p><p>"Hmm. It's a bit cliché, though," Sam said with a wry sideways glance to Jack, who raised an eyebrow inquiringly. "A Native American carving wood."</p><p>At first Jack looked startled, then he laughed. "I may not look like it, but I'm half white. And my dad's really all thumbs when it comes to things like this."</p><p>Sam grinned a little and got a nudge to the upper arm.</p><p>"Come on..." Jack walked a few steps and then knocked on a door before opening it. "Hey, Mom..."</p><p>"Jack..." Michelle sounded a little annoyed. "Oh, hi, Samuel."</p><p>"Hello..." Sam said, looking past Jack into the big office.</p><p>Michelle smiled at him. "You look a lot better than you did this morning."</p><p>Sam nodded and wanted to say something, but could not find the words. Jack took over:</p><p>"Is Alice there?"</p><p>"She comes here just as often as you do, so the answer is <em>no</em>."</p><p>Jack drew a pout. "You know, you could have gotten lucky. Well, what the hell. Bye, Mom."</p><p>"Goodbye."</p><p>"Take care of him, Jack," Michelle shouted after them as Jack pulled Sam along.</p><p>"Hey, hey... slow down," Sam protested and Jack let him go. "Are you running away from your mother?"</p><p>"A little." Jack rolled his eyes. "You'd think I was still nine, not <em>twenty</em>-nine. There's a reason Alice and I prefer to be in home office."</p><p>Sam grinned and followed Jack back to the car, but just as he was about to get in, he remembered something. "Jack, tell me..."</p><p>"Yeah?" Jack, one foot already in the car, stopped.</p><p>"I was wondering if tomorrow we could go back and get my things and my car." Getting chauffeured around wasn't his thing, and foreign clothes weren't either. If he had to stay here for two weeks before he was given a choice, he would like to have his own stuff with him.</p><p>"If you feel fit enough to drive yourself, sure." Jack nodded, shrugged, then swung himself inside the car.</p><p>Sam did the same and buckled his seatbelt.</p><p>"Otherwise, if you want, one of my guys can do it for you." <em>If you trust me</em>, unspoken, the words resonated in his voice.</p><p>"I think I can handle it," Sam returned and felt strangely offended.</p><p>"Whatever you say." Jack simply nodded.</p><p>~</p><p>On the way back, they stopped at a supermarket and back at Jack's apartment, a strange tension fell from Sam that he didn't know was there before.</p><p>"How do you feel?" Jack asked almost immediately as Sam hung up his jacket and went into the kitchen to help Jack with the groceries.</p><p>"I'm okay." Again exhausted and a little mushy in the head.</p><p>"Sit here and we can talk a bit if you like."</p><p>"No, no, I'm fine. Guest or not, but I want to make myself useful."</p><p>"As long as you look like Death in slippers, you're not very useful." Jack's wry grin took the edge off his words and Sam rolled his eyes - only to make himself useful anyway.</p><p> </p><p>Together they prepared a vegetable pan with turkey and Sam refused when Jack offered to make rice with it. He only liked the stuff in the form of risotto or sushi.</p><p>"You know," Jack started to say when they began to eat, "you can ask me things." It was clear he meant <em>wolf things</em>.</p><p>"I..." As long as it wasn't mentioned, it was a little like Sam was really just visiting someone or had a new roommate in the college dorm. But every time Jack noticed something like that, it felt like a red-hot needle was pricking Sam somewhere. "This is all a joke," he whispered. "It's all a terrible joke."</p><p>Jack sighed. "I should have waited until after dinner to do this."</p><p>"Werewolves only exist in hyped-up fantasy stories." And they weren't Sam's thing.</p><p>"You want me to shift for you?</p><p>Sam stared at him. William's wolf head appeared again in his mind's eye and only when Jack grabbed his hand did he realize that he was shaking. "No," he squealed. "No, I don't want any of this!"</p><p>"Shh. Eat," Jack said gently and squeezed his hand.</p><p>Hurriedly, Sam nodded and continued to eat.</p><p> </p><p>After dinner, Sam wrote a few reassuring messages to Val, listened to the voice message from Uncle Harold, who said there was nothing new, and then had another painful chill attack.</p><p>Afterwards he was so exhausted that without much protest he let Jack help him change and fell asleep with the tired thought that he should have turned off his alarm clock in his phone.</p><p>~</p><p>Screams rang in Sam's ears, his own, but also those of others. The screams were full of fear, panic, <em>pain</em>. Shrill and <em>helpless</em>. Hard cries of a male voice. The bright screaming of a child. And in the middle of it all was Sam, eyes open and yet blind, screaming silently because his vocal chords were overused.</p><p>And then warmth enveloped him, wrapped around him like a blanket. The smell of summer forest drove away the darkness and the cold.</p><p>"Don't worry, I got you. I've got you, Sam, I'm here." Jack was there, holding him, driving away the screams, and Sam sobbed with a sore throat.</p><p>Yellow glowing eyes were staring at him, but he couldn't tell if they were wolf's eyes or Jack's.</p><p>"I'm with you, Sam. Nothing will happen to you with me," Jack whispered and Sam couldn't help but trust him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Vision of a New Future</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Waking up with the body heat of another person in your back was a nice thing, really. But when Sam blinked into the dusky room and had no idea where he was, it was not so nice. The last time he had had a blackout like that was in college. Into which crappy bar had the boys dragged him?</p>
<p>"Sam, you awake?"</p>
<p>The fact that it was a <em>man's</em> voice that asked him that almost made him panic, because even though he was dressed, he realized that the guy who grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him on his back was obviously <em>not</em>.</p>
<p>"Hey, hey, take it easy, it's me- Jack."</p>
<p>Golden eyes lit up in an unfamiliar face and Sam squealed startled.</p>
<p>"Sam! Stay calm!" The man frowned and then growled, as a human should not be able to do, but Sam calmed down.</p>
<p>He blinked at the guy, then closed his eyes and held his breath for a moment. Two heartbeats later, the memories rushed back with full force and he gasped for air.</p>
<p>"Are you all right?", Jack asked with concern.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I'm okay," Sam groaned and rubbed his face.</p>
<p>"Good." Judging by the movements, Jack must have stood up.</p>
<p>"What are you doing here?" Sam asked and sat up, only to find that Jack was actually standing stark naked.</p>
<p>"You screamed like a banshee," Jack returned with a half shrug. That probably explained the scratchy feeling in his throat. "And wolves are pack animals."</p>
<p>Sam nodded and made a sound of agreement. Somehow, he felt uncomfortable about it. Sure, he slept in the same bed with Val or Patrick since childhood, but never <em>naked</em>.</p>
<p>Jack turned to leave, but then stopped. "I took the liberty of turning off your alarm clock. Why the hell does it ring at 6:00 a.m.?"</p>
<p>"So I can be at the office at 8:30 at the latest," Sam returned and frowned. "But that's no longer necessary."</p>
<p>"What do you mean? Because you're here now?"</p>
<p>"No... My company laid off a bunch of employees on Friday, cut entire departments." He made a helpless gesture and stood up; his muscles protested differently than usual.</p>
<p>"What did you do?" Jack asked, making a sympathetic face.</p>
<p>Strangely enough, Sam had to grin because he remembered what Jack had told him yesterday about his own job. "Customer relations. I've just been in Europe for three weeks."</p>
<p>Jack snorted amused. "You know, my offer was serious. If you want my job, you can have it."</p>
<p>Sam nodded slowly. "I'll think about it." He also put on a cautious smile, which Jack acknowledged with a nod.</p>
<p>"I'll make breakfast. Is omelet and bacon okay?"</p>
<p>The first response was Sam's stomach growl. "More than okay." He grinned wryly. That was a roommate to his liking, because Stella hated the smell of such things early in the morning.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a quick visit to the bathroom, Sam simply put on the clothes from the day before and went into the kitchen, from which it smelled delicious. However, he stopped right in the doorway a little insecure - Jack was still naked, except for his apron.</p>
<p>"I'm not in that much of a hurry to have breakfast," Sam said slowly. "You could have dressed."</p>
<p>Jack threw a critical glance over his shoulder. "Do you mind? Because if so: Bad luck. I won't change it."</p>
<p>Sam looked at him slightly confused. "No... your house, your rules. I'm just saying... wait. What?"</p>
<p>Now Jack turned to Sam - there was a silly totem pole printed on the apron - and frowned. "I'm serious. Besides my annoying mother, that's the second reason why I'm mostly at home office. Here I can walk around as I please."</p>
<p>"And that's... um... naked?"</p>
<p>"Right."</p>
<p>"I see." Sam nodded for convenience. Being naked was far from pleasant for him, but unless Jack made it a roommate rule... "By the way, your apron is terrible." He said it with a wry smile and Jack grinned.</p>
<p>"When you're so obviously part of a minority, it's best to take it with humor. It's healthier."</p>
<p>"Probably." Sam agreed with him. Val made most of the gay jokes himself for a reason.</p>
<p>"Okay, done. Coffee? Tea?" Jack divided a damn big portion of omelet on two plates and then artfully draped bacon strips from a second pan over it.</p>
<p>"Water. Coffee just messes up the flavor," Sam returned and took the plates. "Are we having breakfast at the gallery?" In passing by he had seen cutlery lying there.</p>
<p>"Good catch, cowboy."</p>
<p>When Sam rolled his eyes and smiled, Jack just winked at him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"So... do you feel fit enough to get your things?" Jack asked and Sam nodded.</p>
<p>"Yes, I do, actually." It was a bit like aching muscles, but otherwise everything was fine. He looked at Jack and nodded again.</p>
<p>Jack nodded back. "Good. I don't want to mother you, but I don't want to provoke bad luck unnecessarily."</p>
<p>"Do you think..." Sam hesitated and lowered his fork, "do you think the worst... of this transformation is over?" He still couldn't believe it. They had turned him into a <em>werewolf</em>. A character from fairy tales and legends.</p>
<p>"I don't know," Jack said honestly. "I could ask my friend Tommy how he was doing, but I know he had other things on his mind at the time."</p>
<p>"Like what?" What could be worse than these terrible attacks?</p>
<p>"Staying alive to have any chance at all of surviving the transformation. Drug couriers live dangerously, they say."</p>
<p>"You have interesting friends," Sam noticed and lost all appetite.</p>
<p>"Tommy has been clean for five years. Now eat up."</p>
<p>Sam sighed, but continued to eat, although he really didn't feel like it. On the other hand, he would probably need the energy.</p>
<p>The last bites were almost cold and he was just rinsing the last of it when Jack's phone started ringing.</p>
<p>Jack stood up, took it from the shelf where he had left it and smiled strangely. "Kevin." His voice was suddenly darker and Sam frowned, all the more as Jack apparently was only listening but at the same time started massaging his balls. <br/>"No." Jack finally said, glancing at Sam and taking the hand out of his crotch. "You'll have to be a little patient. No <em>buts</em>! I'm gonna call Marco, Vlad and Tommy, okay?" He nodded. "Good. Very good. I have a few things to do, so... see you later."</p>
<p>For a strange moment of horror, Sam felt as if he was looking at a perfect statue made of polished wood that turned its head towards him, but then he blinked and Jack made a thoughtful face.</p>
<p>"My boys are coming for dinner," he said simply, his voice was normal again, and Sam nodded.</p>
<p>"Okay."</p>
<p>"Tommy and Kevin are werewolves, Marco and Vlad are humans. But first we'll get your stuff."</p>
<p>Sam nodded again.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Actually, Sam had wanted to stay in the log cabin for several days and in the end spent maybe twenty minutes in there. While he fetched his travel bag, Jack sorted the food. When Sam stepped back into the kitchen, Jack nodded to a blue folding box.</p>
<p>"That's all so far. The rest is for the trash."</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>"You're welcome. You don't have more than this?"</p>
<p>Sam shook his head. He didn't even bring his laptop because he wanted to be alone.</p>
<p>"Okay, well..." Jack shrugged and the matter was settled.</p>
<p>At the car, however, Sam paused and looked over to the edge of the forest. It was bright day, yet there was something very dark about the woods, as if something lurking between the trees swallowed the sun's rays. The rather symbolic barrier seemed like a warning and admonition in both directions.</p>
<p>"Sam?"</p>
<p>"Hmm?"</p>
<p>"You okay? You're staring at the forest like it's trying to kidnap you." There was soft mocking in Jack's voice, very soft, but just enough to scare away Sam's strange feeling.</p>
<p>"No, it's okay." Had he gone <em>into</em> the woods and been attacked? For a brief moment he wanted to go and see if he found any signs of the fight, but Jack interrupted his thoughts.</p>
<p>"Come on, let's go. Before the forest gets feet." Again this quiet mockery.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>"Jack?"</p>
<p>An absent hum.</p>
<p>"Hey, I picked up some frozen vegetables and-"</p>
<p>"Oh, damn it!"</p>
<p>"Are you even listening to me?" Sam left the grocery bags and went to see where Jack had gone to.</p>
<p>Jack sat in his study at a simple desk so meticulously tidied up that it almost seemed creepy. The monitor was ancient, the computer mouse much too small for his big hand and if the tower under the desk was as old as it looked...</p>
<p>"Are you aware that Windows XP is no longer supported by Microsoft?"</p>
<p>"I don't care, as long as it runs and keeps our business program running," Jack growled grumpy.</p>
<p>Sam sighed. He wasn't a technology freak, but <em>this</em> was a dusty disaster. "That makes your job offer an ounce less tempting."</p>
<p>Jack's head snapped around. "If you accept the offer, you can put the computer in the office you wish for."</p>
<p>Sam raised an eyebrow. "I want to see that."</p>
<p>"I'll tell you what. Tomorrow I'll take you down to the workshop, show you what I got, and you'll want to put me out of my misery." Jack said it so seriously, Sam laughed.</p>
<p>"We'll see. I'll clean all this stuff up and then-"</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there."</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Jack might have no idea about computers, but he definitely knew how to make delicious food. Sam had always loved to cook and was very enthusiastic about learning a thing or two from his Italian in-laws - especially since Stella was an absolute disaster in the kitchen - so they made a good team while they prepared dinner.</p>
<p>Sam was drying his hands when someone with a key entered the apartment.</p>
<p>"Hey, Alice!" Jack shouted even before the door closed.</p>
<p>"Hey, Jack," she replied cheerfully. "And hi, Sam." A young woman, who, except for the amber eyes, looked nothing like Jack, walked into the kitchen with a cake box in her hand. Her fringed bob was ruffled by the wind in all directions and had the same color as the milk chocolate decorating the muffins in the box.</p>
<p>"Hi...", Sam replied reluctantly as she beamed at him.</p>
<p>She gave Jack a slap on the hand as he tried to reach for the muffins. "Don't, the chocolate still has to dry. I didn't put nuts in it." As she stepped further into the kitchen to put the box on the table, Sam backed away. He couldn't say why, but the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. And he backed away even further when she carelessly stepped up to a cupboard and ripped it open; the muscles in his back were completely tense and his hands were shaking.</p>
<p>Jack threw a critical glance at him and then stepped almost protectively in front of him. "Alice..."</p>
<p>"Hmm?" With a glass baking tray in her hand she turned around. She was small and dainty and yet she seemed to vibrate with inner power.</p>
<p>"Hold back, we got a highly nervous cub here."</p>
<p>"Oh! Sorry, Sam."</p>
<p>Irritated, Sam watched as she took a deep breath and then suddenly was nothing but a sweet girl. He even managed to smile back at her.</p>
<p>"Sorry," she repeated, then turned to Jack. "I ran into Hank earlier."</p>
<p>Jack sighed in a way as if mentioning that guy already explained everything.</p>
<p>"But I'm going to leave. Say hi to Kevin. Bye-bye."</p>
<p>Before Sam or Jack could answer, she rushed out. When the door closed, Sam winced.</p>
<p>"Well. This is my little sister Alice." Jack's smile slipped, apparently Sam was still looking shocked, even though he didn't feel half as intimidated as he did a moment ago.</p>
<p>He nodded. He was probably supposed to say something like <em>'pretty girl'</em>, but that seemed completely inappropriate.</p>
<p>Jack sighed again. "Alice is an Alpha, just like me. They are generally a little... difficult. Like a snowstorm in the middle of the living room."</p>
<p>"What? Alphas?"</p>
<p>"<em>Female</em> alphas."</p>
<p>"Hmm..." Sam shivered. Stella was always quiet elegance, restrained, with a touch of sensuality and made Alice seem like chaos itself in comparison. Strange that she had made such an impression when she had been here barely three minutes; Sam could not even have told what she was wearing.</p>
<p>"Your mother is not like that," he said then.</p>
<p>"My mother is not an Alpha either, but an average werewolf," Jack said, looking at Sam awkwardly. "I'll go get dressed. The others should be here soon."</p>
<p>Still taken by surprise, Sam nodded.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>After the doorbell rang, Sam waited a little indecisively in the living room and then raised his eyebrows in surprise when one of the two visitors threw himself directly into Jack's arms and kissed him wildly.</p>
<p>"Slow," Jack said, admonishingly but with an almost sensual purr.</p>
<p>The second guy pushed himself past them, carelessly threw his jacket on the wardrobe and then headed for Sam. "Hi. I'm Thomas, but Tommy is enough. Just ignore them."</p>
<p>"Samuel, but Sam does too," Sam replied and shook Tommy's tattooed hand while Jack and Kevin were still kissing in the background.</p>
<p>"You look pretty fit. When were you bitten?" Tommy wanted to know directly and scrutinized Sam, who in turn scrutinized Tommy - the neck was also decorated with tattoos and probably more were hidden under the pale blue sweater.</p>
<p>"Um... Saturday night..."</p>
<p>Surprised, Tommy raised his eyebrows so that they disappeared under the long greasy strands of dark hair. "Well hallelujah, you're damned fit for that. But I guess William just did it right..."</p>
<p>Somehow Sam didn't feel comfortable in Tommy's presence. "Jack mentioned-"</p>
<p>"Yeah, messed with the wrong ones." Tommy shrugged. "Although it's generally a little tricky, you know, being born into a gang doesn't give you a free pass."</p>
<p>"Um..."</p>
<p>"Well. You'd think a werewolf would know how to kill properly, but some have more muscle than brains."</p>
<p><em>It's normal to have more muscle than brains,</em> Sam thought, but didn't say it. Jack and Kevin, who came up, saved him from this somewhat awkward conversation.</p>
<p>"Hi," said Kevin with such a condescending look, that Sam raised an eyebrow. The little blond guy snuggled up to Jack as if he wanted to merge with him - or to clearly show his claim to ownership. In his pants there was clearly visible a boner.</p>
<p>"Hey..." Sam said and nodded at him. Kevin irritated him even more than Tommy did, almost he felt challenged by him.</p>
<p>"Jack, can we-", Kevin started and stroked Jack's chest with one hand, provocatively holding Sam's gaze.</p>
<p>"Not now, sweetheart. I actually thought we could all have a little chat about the pack, but you're late, the others are coming soon," Jack returned and patted- also possessive- Kevin's butt.</p>
<p>"Your diva just couldn't finish," mumbled Tommy. "I'm going to get a drink." And with that, he walked away toward the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Oh, stop staring at Sam like that, Kevin," Jack growled then and Kevin lowered his eyes.</p>
<p>"I just wanna-"</p>
<p>"Not now!" Jack's voice got a sharp undertone and Sam ducked his head as if <em>he</em> had been scolded.</p>
<p>"You know, Kevin, if you cross Jack, you'll get more than you can swallow." Tommy giggled at his own joke and Sam didn't really want to know the background to it. To him, Jack and Kevin seemed like a very strange couple- if they even were.</p>
<p>"Like you knew what you were talking about." Kevin was visibly sulking and Tommy was laughing.</p>
<p>"Everyone knows Jack naked."</p>
<p>"Then why did you get dressed?" Sam asked in between and felt next to Jack, who smiled like he was the master of the world, suddenly quite small.</p>
<p>"Because I hate to mess around with Marco's wife. I like a warm apartment, you know, and Marco is unfortunately just heir to the local heating empire."</p>
<p>"Oh, I see..."</p>
<p>"Well, and with Marco's beloved, you can screw it up pretty quickly at the moment," Tommy interjected. "Reminds me never to get a woman pregnant."</p>
<p>"As if one would want you," muttered Kevin, again slightly condescending.</p>
<p>"Kevin," Jack admonished and promptly the bell rang again.</p>
<p>"So... Marco's going to be a father?", Sam asked carefully as Jack went to open the door.</p>
<p>"In January." Tommy nodded and sipped at something that must have been the Pepsi from the fridge.</p>
<p>"His wife is pretty," Kevin interjected and seemed to mean it honestly, although the remark wasn't quite fitting.</p>
<p>And then a bulky guy with a round face pushed his way past Jack into the apartment. In Sam's eyes, he was just as much a cliché of the Russian thug as Jack was of the Native American.</p>
<p>"Hey, Vlad," Tommy greeted casually, got a narrow nod in return and Kevin was ignored.</p>
<p>"You look like a big city boy who works with his head instead of his hands," Vlad snarled with a strong accent.</p>
<p>Tommy snorted amused. "That's what the right one says." In return, he received a slap on the shoulder, which probably looked much more aggressive than it actually was.</p>
<p><em>Vlad is human,</em> Sam remembered and nodded at him. "That's right. Big city boy with an office job." <em>Don't be intimidated.</em></p>
<p>"Keep the mob out, Vlad," said an unfamiliar voice.</p>
<p>"Aren't you allowed to have fun anymore?" Vlad grumbled, now almost without an accent, and the others laughed, so at least Sam smiled.</p>
<p>"Hi, I'm Marco," said the no longer-unknown guy.</p>
<p>"Sam." They shook hands and Sam couldn't shake the impression that he knew Marco from somewhere, but maybe it was just his imagination, his attempt to find a familiar fixed point in a foreign environment.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They ate and laughed and talked and Sam felt immensely comfortable after a somewhat awkward start. Tommy, the former drug smuggler, was now a janitor at the high school where Vlad taught Russian and ran the baseball team; Kevin lived a little outside of town with his family on a farm and Marco was the only one with a wife and a soon-to-have child.</p>
<p>Sam could not have put it into words, but this small group was different from the chaotic bunch he called his friends back home. Somehow calmer, more mature. He had no idea why he fit in- he excluded being a werewolf because Marco and Vlad weren't- but maybe that wasn't the essential question. Maybe the question should have been why his friends did so badly in comparison - except for Val.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Hey, if you don't want to rescue Jack from his suffering, you can come to us," Marco said at the farewell. For it being the middle of the week, the guys had stayed surprisingly long.</p>
<p>"If you go to the rivalry, you're dead to me," Jack exclaimed and Sam laughed.</p>
<p>"Since when are furniture and heaters competitors?"</p>
<p>"It's a matter of principle," Vlad growled and rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>"Thanks for the offer, anyway," Sam said to Marco, who adjusted his glasses for the hundredth time in the last ten minutes.</p>
<p>"Of course."</p>
<p>Two minutes later, only Kevin was left, who nestled into Jack's arms and apparently fiddled on him under his shirt.</p>
<p>Sam caught Jack's gaze and smile - both seemed to ask: <em>"Well, how was the evening? Can you live with it?"</em></p>
<p>And Sam nodded slightly, also a smile on his lips. He was more relaxed than he had been in a long time. It didn't even bother him that Kevin started to undress Jack in the middle of the living room.</p>
<p>He tidied up the kitchen- wasn't he an exemplary guest?- and then nodded good night to Jack, who nodded back, but at the same time pushed Kevin's pants down. Almost in a tipsy good mood he went to bed and after a short thought about how <em>loud</em> Kevin was, he completely blanked out the noises.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. A Crack in the Facade</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam woke up sometime in the middle of the night and urgently needed to pee. A little disoriented he stepped into the hallway and paused. It smelled... weird. Like sex, yes, but not only. A little uncomfortable he rolled his shoulders and went to the bathroom.</p>
<p>When he stepped into the hallway again, his ears twitched under a quiet lustful moan. He blinked with a frown, and only now did he notice that Jack's room door was half open; soft light- perhaps from candles- seemed to shimmer behind it.</p>
<p>"Jack..." Kevin's voice was barely audible and Jack's answer was more of a rumble than understandable words.</p>
<p>Sam reached out his hand as if he had to hold on to a wall and shivered. Jack's repeated rumble gave him goose bumps, and as if he were a moth, his feet carried him to the shimmer of light.</p>
<p>It was actually candles flickering in Jack's bedroom, and although Sam hesitated to peek into the room, he had an almost perfect view of the big bed. Jack lay half on top, half behind Kevin, and had an arm wrapped around him, which Kevin held on to as if it were a lifeline.</p>
<p>"Ja-<em>ack</em>... oh..."</p>
<p>"Hmm?" Jack grumbled and continued to kiss and nibble on Kevin's shoulder and neck.</p>
<p>"More...", Kevin begged and the pleading tone made Sam shudder again. "More... please..."</p>
<p>Jack gave a negative growl, his soft, flowing movements didn't change.</p>
<p>As if hypnotized, Sam stared at the scene, though he normally didn't care for homo-sex (not even lesbian porn, to be honest; he preferred it classic), but he felt his cheeks warm up when Jack suddenly raised his eyes. He swallowed and wanted to retreat, but his feet were like glued in place.</p>
<p>"Kevin..." Jack straightened his torso a little and bared his teeth - they were too pointy to be human - before he sank them hard into Kevin's shoulder.</p>
<p>Sam's heart made a startled jump, but Kevin's loud moaning didn't even sound vaguely like pain.</p>
<p>"You belong to me!" Jack growled, leaving a bleeding mark.</p>
<p>"Yes! Yes, yours, just yours... ah!" Kevin muttered. The wound closed slowly, leaving only a little bit of blood, which Jack licked up almost sensually.</p>
<p>Stunned, Sam watched and could not move. When Jack looked at him again, with glossy lips that almost smiled mockingly, somewhere deep inside him there was a quiet desire to feel those lips on his skin.</p>
<p>"Come for me..." Jack said quietly, sensually, demanding, and Sam swallowed with a dry mouth.</p>
<p>"No... no, please... a little... a little <em>more</em>..." Kevin begged and moaned and offered no resistance at all when Jack grabbed him by the hip and turned a little. "No... <em>more</em>...", he murmured.</p>
<p>"Come for me, sweetheart... show us who you belong to."</p>
<p>It was a purring command and Sam got hot. And even though it was directed at Kevin, his blood started to flow to the center of his body.</p>
<p>"Come. Now."</p>
<p>As loud as Kevin had been hours before, as mute he was now, as it shook him.</p>
<p>Sam watched, felt it tingle in his own body and bit his lip. This was not meant for his eyes- why was the door open?- and this command in the midst of the love act was not meant for him.</p>
<p>Jack returned his gaze and nodded barely perceptibly at him.</p>
<p>Sam turned around stumbling and when he reached his own door, he almost hit the door frame because Jack's deep, inhuman rumble gave him goose bumps.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>Like a déja-vu, Sam paused in the hallway, but this time his nostrils twitched.</p>
<p>
  <em>Sex. Alpha. Jack.</em>
</p>
<p>He could smell it; these animal scents heavily overlaid the smell of bacon from the kitchen.</p>
<p>"You're already awake..." Somehow Sam hadn't expected it, but Jack was already standing at the stove, the silly apron tied around, stirring in his pans.</p>
<p>"Good morning, sunshine," he said cheerfully and gave Sam a smile.</p>
<p>"I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." Sam stammered, hot-cheeked, and trying to apologize, but Jack shook his head.</p>
<p>"Don't you worry. Admittedly, it's not easy to dampen your aura when your Omega is begging so nicely." He paused and cleared his throat. "Sorry."</p>
<p>Sam nodded silently. That had been something completely different than accidentally busting in on a normal roommate.</p>
<p>"Ask," Jack said softly and took two plates from the cupboard.</p>
<p>"Um, has Kevin left already?" What a stupid question.</p>
<p>"Yeah. He always leaves before breakfast." Jack almost sounded disappointed.</p>
<p>"And, um, what exactly is this with you guys?" To avoid standing around for no apparent reason, Sam took glasses and a bottle of water.</p>
<p>"We are Alpha and Omega." Jack carefully divided up eggs and bacon and gave Sam a quick glance. "Every Omega needs an Alpha to protect it, otherwise they're ... well, free to abuse, you might say."</p>
<p>"Hmm," Sam cautiously made.</p>
<p>Jack hung up his apron and reached for the plates. "Kevin has been with me since his signature manifested. Are 16 years now."</p>
<p>Sam, who was walking to the gallery behind Jack, almost tripped over his own feet. "Y-you were only thirteen...?"</p>
<p>"Yes. That's normal, Sam. If a werewolf is an Alpha or an Omega, it appears around 13 or 14. And the best way to make and keep that bond is through sex."</p>
<p>"Okay..." They sat down and Sam stared at his breakfast as if it could give him an explanation. At thirteen, he had definitely had other worries than sex. As he raised his eyes, Jack looked at him closely.</p>
<p>"You got a problem with that?"</p>
<p>"What? No. Wait... with what?" Sam felt confused and intimidated in equal measure.</p>
<p>"Omegas are naturally bisexual to completely submit to their alpha, but I... am really gay." Jack tilted his head slightly and his amber eyes seemed to glow eerily.</p>
<p>"Why should I have a problem with that?" Sam asked, expressing his confusion. "My best friend Val is gay too. That doesn't change anything."</p>
<p>A faint smile flitted across Jack's face and a certain relief emanated from him, but it was almost immediately replaced by resignation and old bitterness. "You know... the humans have a problem with me because I'm a Native. And the werewolves have a problem with me because I'm gay."</p>
<p>Sam choked down his bite and frowned. "Why? I mean, how highly dramatic is a gay werewolf?" Spoken aloud, it sounded like one of those cheap, erotic books that no one bought out of shame.</p>
<p>"I'm an Alpha," Jack replied seriously. "Leadership over a pack is not inherited but actively passed on, and next year at this time my father will retire, so to speak. Indeed, the only reason I cannot participate in the election of a successor is the fact that I will never have a wife and child according to tradition."</p>
<p>"That's pretty old-fashioned," Sam remarked, forcing himself to eat before it got cold.</p>
<p>Now Jack's eyes really flashed. "We are too much animals to neglect the urge to preserve the species. My sexual preferences are only partially shared by my wolfish side, but it's..." Jack paused, searched for words and finally put down the cutlery. "It's tearing me apart," he then said with lowered eyes. "It tears me apart that I can't lead as an Alpha, that I can never raise my own cubs. But- forgive me the choice of words- women disgust me. I tried, trust me."</p>
<p>Sam, who had also paused, sat back. He stared at Jack and the tortured look on his face, feeling strangely honored that Jack had entrusted him with this. Calmly he said: "There are enough women who would stay by your side without any real feelings, and the other problem can be solved by doctors."</p>
<p>Jack's mouth formed a crooked smile. "We cannot have children with human women. And a female werewolf..." He shook his head. "If it were really that simple, I would worry much less."</p>
<p>"Hmm..." Sam didn't know what to say, so they were silent, listlessly and thoughtfully poking around in the food.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>The sudden screeching of a saw or something like that made Sam wince and Jack laughed softly before asking: "How are you doing?"</p>
<p>"In general? I'm fine."</p>
<p>"Good. And... the rest?"</p>
<p>"The rest? What do you mean?"</p>
<p>"Changes. Your senses, things like that." Jack raised his hand in greeting and then looked at Sam.</p>
<p>"Well..." He bit his lip, but before he knew how to answer, Jack said:</p>
<p>"My dad said it should start now."</p>
<p>"I think it does." Sam nodded thoughtfully and Jack smiled at him.</p>
<p>"Good. Hey Daniel, did you get the message?"</p>
<p>"I did," the one who was addressed called back and gave a thumbs up.</p>
<p>They were approaching a workplace that was a bit remote and Jack pointed to it. "My work."</p>
<p>Sam raised an eyebrow and stepped closer. The pieces lying and standing there didn't mean much to him, but the drawings hanging on a pinboard showed a cradle. "For Marco?"</p>
<p>Jack nodded. "I'm almost finished. I just need to convince Gabrielle to help me with the details." He pulled something out of a holder that was probably the head or foot end. "The usual flourishes and blossoms and things..."</p>
<p>Sam smiled, because Jack's joy and pride were obvious. "I'm sure it'll be beautiful."</p>
<p>"It will." A woman interjected and Sam turned halfway around. "Hey, Jack, if you want me to help you with your project, now would be a good time. I got time in my schedule right now." She rubbed her belly in a way that could only mean one thing.</p>
<p>"How are you?" Jack wanted to know and she sighed.</p>
<p>"I won't be talked into a fourth."</p>
<p>While Jack grinned crookedly, Sam put on a smile.</p>
<p>"Congratulations.</p>
<p>She waved it off. "You're Sam? Nice to meet you... Gabrielle. I'm Jack's cousin."</p>
<p>He felt a little unwelcome because she looked at him critically and didn't bother to shake hands with him. "Yes, Sam. Nice to meet you."</p>
<p>"Gabrielle takes care of the niceties and embellishments on many projects," Jack explained, then pointed to his own again. "Are you suggesting the usual?"</p>
<p>She nodded. "If you worked to standard measurements, I can show you my templates."</p>
<p>"I'll look at them later."</p>
<p>They nodded at each other and Gabrielle left. Jack sighed and stroked the wood.</p>
<p>"This really is your dream, isn't it?" Sam asked quietly and Jack nodded without looking.</p>
<p>"I only took the office job back then because... Oh, actually I don't even know anymore <em>why</em>. I mean, it's not so much that I would drown in work. I have enough time for the pack, my hobby, my friends..."</p>
<p>"But it doesn't make you happy," Sam summed it up.</p>
<p>"No." Now Jack looked at him. "Did your job make you happy?"</p>
<p>Sam shrugged. "It is... was... a lot and a strain, mentally, I mean. Well, and business trips to Europe are no picnic, but, yeah, basically, I liked it."</p>
<p>Jack chewed on his lower lip and then patted the wood. "Shall I show you the office?"</p>
<p>Sam put his hands in his pockets and then looked over his shoulder into the work area, the noise of which he had hardly noticed as long as he was concentrating solely on the conversation. "Why not?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The office was crammed with filing cabinets and dust, the computer was like Jack's a dinosaur of technology and in fact still had a CRT display. While Sam stared in disbelief, Jack cleared his throat.</p>
<p>"Like I said, you'd be able to choose a new computer. And this place would be cleaned up, I mean, this file storage was only created here because I'm never here and... um... yeah. What shall I say?"</p>
<p>Sam swallowed and thought he could taste the wood dust. "How are the conditions?" he asked, a little muffled.</p>
<p>"Uh..." Jack immediately rushed with long steps towards his mother's office. "Mom? If Sam, theoretically, were to take my job- oh."</p>
<p>Slowly Sam followed him and saw Michelle handing him something.</p>
<p>"We know you pretty well, son," she said with a smile and nodded a greeting to Sam.</p>
<p>"Good morning," Sam greeted and smiled back, which slipped when Jack pressed the papers into his hand. "That's-"</p>
<p>"Mom and Grandpa obviously were a little hasty," Jack said apologetically. It was an employment contract, directly with Sam's data in it- including his makeshift address at Jack's house.</p>
<p>Surprised, Sam flipped through the pages, paused briefly at a paragraph dealing with easy time-off on health matters, and then paused on salary. "This is..."</p>
<p>"Not enough?," Jack asked strangely insecurely and Sam shook his head.</p>
<p>"Very generous."</p>
<p>"I thought I'd adapt it a bit," Michelle remarked with a smile.</p>
<p>"That won't be necessary," Sam modestly repulsed. "Jack said it's not that much work and-"</p>
<p>"More time to do something useful with the money, don't you think?"</p>
<p>"...probably." He nodded embarrassed and looked at Jack, who seemed nervous.</p>
<p>"I don't want to influence you in your decision and you certainly have time to make one, but you should consider that this is about more than just a job," Michelle then said quietly and seriously. "Through your transformation, you now belong to William's blood, to our family in a broader sense. That will always haunt you, even if you join the pack in your hometown."</p>
<p>Sam would probably never have thought of that on his own and he nodded thoughtfully. "Lots of money, lots of free time..."</p>
<p>"The combination is not often found," Jack interjected.</p>
<p>"And we are a family business with about 50 employees. That is a completely unique working atmosphere. Things are done differently here," Michelle added and Sam nodded. That was a point which appealed to him almost more than the money. Being able to talk directly to the boss about a problem, no endless anonymous lines of superiors and department heads...</p>
<p>He turned away and stepped to the balustrade of the gallery to look down at the workers. This was a completely different world than the glass skyscraper in which until a few days ago his absolutely impersonal office had been. Here there were robust work clothes and no stiff shirt collars - even Michelle wore a casual sweater with plain jeans.</p>
<p>Jack leaned next to him and looked down, too. "You don't have to work here, of course, even if you want to stay with the pack. I guess Marco's offer was serious."</p>
<p>They looked at each other and Sam nodded slowly. He had only cultivated a kind of pseudo-friendship with two of his colleagues and had not even known the first name of many others. Here it looked as if every occasion - be it a birthday, a wedding, the birth of a child or something like that - would include a company party. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jack smiling and couldn't help but do the same.</p>
<p>"Do you have a pen?"</p>
<p>"I have one," Michelle said, waving him into the office as he turned around.</p>
<p>"I could kiss you!" Jack grinned and slapped Sam on the shoulder.</p>
<p>"Whew! Why don't we skip the kissing and just say you're happy?"</p>
<p>Michelle laughed.</p>
<p>~</p>
<p>"Well Sam, what's new?" Val wanted to know.</p>
<p>"I got a job," Sam replied calmly, and the silence at the other end confirmed his fears.</p>
<p>"I'm glad," Val finally said honestly, but not enthusiastically.</p>
<p>"I'll miss you," Sam said, staring at the printed werewolves in the living room. "You and the boys." Jack was like Val in some ways, no doubt, but Sam didn't need to know much about werewolves to be sure that Jack was stronger and tougher, in both positive and negative senses. Sometimes Val lacked a certain strength, but Sam appreciated Val precisely because of his soft side, which in so many other male friendships never came out, if it existed at all. He would really miss Val.</p>
<p>"I miss you already," Val said quietly and sighed, "but what's four hours drive?"</p>
<p>"Not much," Sam admitted. "Listen, could you take care of my apartment? Well, the furniture-"</p>
<p>"Sure." Val interrupted him and Sam was afraid he was offended. Or disappointed or sad or...</p>
<p>"You don't have to, really, I just mean-"</p>
<p>"No problem. I get you. You start first thing tomorrow, right?"</p>
<p>"Yes, but-"</p>
<p>"Don't worry. I'll take care of it."</p>
<p>"Val, I-"</p>
<p>"Sam. Shut up." Val's voice got cold. "I told you to move your ass and you did."</p>
<p>"Yeah, but-"</p>
<p>"Samuel, shut up."</p>
<p>Sam closed his mouth and dropped himself on the couch.</p>
<p>"I'll take care of your apartment and your things. Just give me an address. Or better two, I guess your furniture needs some storage somewhere, doesn't it?"</p>
<p>"Yes," Sam said quietly. "You don't have to do that."</p>
<p>"What kind of best friend would I be if I didn't?"</p>
<p>Sam sighed and leaned back with his eyes closed. "You've done so much for me over the years..."</p>
<p>"And you probably don't realize how much it means to me that you always stood by me in school," Val returned seriously. "You were my <em>prom date</em>."</p>
<p>Sam sighed. "If you had gone through with that dress, I would have said <em>no</em>." Actually, Sam had only said <em>yes</em> because his girlfriend had broken up with him shortly before to be able to concentrate fully on the change to college.</p>
<p>Val snorted amused. "I still had long hair then, so I wouldn't have stood out so much. You kissed me anyway."</p>
<p>"We had to make a statement, didn't we?" At that time he had done it only for Val, now he could laugh about it. "How are things going with Matt?" he wanted to know and reaped another uncomfortably long moment of silence.</p>
<p>"I have the feeling he's about to make a decision. To my disadvantage," Val finally said depressed.</p>
<p>"Shit. Is it going that bad?" Surprised, Sam straightened up.</p>
<p>"No. Not at all, actually. But... well... What can I say?" Val sighed. "Speak of the devil and he calls. I'll talk to you later, okay?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, sure... keep me updated."</p>
<p>"Sure." Val hung up and Sam leaned back again, rubbed his face and then moaned in frustration.</p>
<p>"What a fucking mess," he muttered and frowned as Harold called. "Hey..."</p>
<p>"Hello, Sam..." Harold's voice was tense. "Are you at the log cabin?"</p>
<p>"Uh, no. I'm in Churchrock. I signed a job contract-"</p>
<p>"Churchrock? Oh. Then you've heard it already?"</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"They found Patrick's car on the outskirts of Churchrock."</p>
<p>"Excuse me?" Sam blinked in amazement. "What the hell is Patrick doing in Churchrock?"</p>
<p>"I don't know. No one seems to know. Were you in Riverside? Did you hear anything?" Harold's voice remained tense, but at the same time strangely toneless, as if he was pushing all emotions far away from him- even hope.</p>
<p>"If anyone had seen him in Riverside, I'm sure they would have pointed it out to me. He certainly wasn't at the log cabin." Sam paused. "What about Mandy?"</p>
<p>"She was in Washington, D.C. for a conference at the time of his disappearance. When we got the news this morning, she completely freaked out. She thinks he left her." There was a hint of doubt in Harold's voice, nothing more. But even Sam didn't believe that Patrick left his fiancée without a word when they were actually planning their wedding and were working on a child.</p>
<p>"But... there's no idea why he might have come here?"</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>Sam sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't know what to say, but Harold seemed to sense it.</p>
<p>"I just wanted you to stay informed."</p>
<p>"Yes. Thank you." Sam thought he sounded eerily hollow. When he tried to add a phrase of greeting to the end of it, Harold had already hung up. A little rough, he dropped the phone on the coffee table and buried the face in his hands.</p>
<p>It felt as if fate was taking revenge for him running away from problem A by sending problem B after him.</p>
<p>"Hey..." Jack tore him gently from his thoughts and he raised his head. "Are you all right?"</p>
<p>"No," Sam said honestly and stood up. He needed some water.</p>
<p>"Do you regret your decision?"</p>
<p>"No. No, that's not it. Family." Sam shook his head and made an indefinite gesture. He didn't want to talk anymore and took a glass of water, watched by Jack, which almost upset him.</p>
<p>"You look like you need a hug," Jack noticed as Sam put the glass on the table, adding: "But I'm not putting anything on for it."</p>
<p>Sam snorted amused. "No need."</p>
<p>And Jack came up to him and took him in his arms, strong and protective. "The pack holds together, Sam," he said very quietly. "You're no Omega, you don't have to submit to me, but I'm always here for you if you need me, okay?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, okay." Sam nodded and leaned gratefully against Jack. His warm, soft skin literally invited him to caress it and his fingers twitched, but he held back - that would be totally inappropriate.</p>
<p>He missed Val. He abandoned his family.</p>
<p>The thoughts were foolish, but they were there, and Sam's eyes began to burn - he squeezed them shut, burying his face on Jack's shoulder.</p>
<p>The smell of warm summer forest promised safety and comfort.</p>
<p>He felt his eyelashes brush against Jack's skin, felt a hand calming against his back, and as he took a deep breath he didn't care that his tears were dripping onto Jack's naked skin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Hot Chocolate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sam dried his face and looked in the mirror. Still- or again- he looked completely exhausted. Grimacing to himself, he hung the towel away and then glanced at the clock, only to blink in irritation. A slow moment later he had realized it had stopped working and he sighed; it must have taken a hit during the attack, because he had only recently had the battery changed. Strange that this was only happening now.</p><p>He went back to Jack, who was cleaning up the kitchen and gave him a smile. "Hey, tell me... is there a clockmaker or jeweler or something around here somewhere?"</p><p>Jack raised a brow. "Two blocks down, Oliver has his store. You can walk there, it would do you good."</p><p>"Two blocks?"</p><p>"Our blocks are smaller than yours in the big city." Jack grinned wryly. "And I'm serious: a walk for sure wouldn't be bad. And while you're out, you might as well get some solid winter shoes, you're going to need them soon."</p><p>"It's not even October yet," Sam objected skeptically, and Jack shrugged indifferently.</p><p>"Just because we werewolves are better at dealing with temperatures doesn't mean cold or wet feet are comfortable. But is your choice. There's a good shoe store across the street from Oliver's, at least take a look."</p><p>As much as Sam didn't want to deal with shoes right now, he had to agree with Jack, so he nodded. "I'll take a look..." Again, he looked at his wristwatch, a little unhappily. "Where can I find Oliver's store?"</p><p>"Out of the house and to the left. First intersection left, then next intersection right and then it's a block and a half. You can't miss it."</p><p>"Thanks." Sam nodded at him and Jack nodded back, though seriously, as if he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of letting Sam go alone.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>~<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>A cool breeze blew around Sam's ears and cleared his head a bit. After twenty minutes, he had reached the jeweler, with a tacky blue neon sign in the shape of a diamond hanging above the store door. A little bell rang as Sam entered.</p><p>"... and this one?" a woman's voice asked critically.</p><p>Sam turned his head and spotted, to his surprise, Alice and another young woman in a corner, standing by a rack of fashion jewelry.</p><p>"No, too feminine." Alice replied no less critically, before noticing Sam and giving him a brief smile, which he returned curtly.</p><p>"Can I help you, sir?" The man at the counter looked expectant and Sam nodded as he took the few steps through the small store.</p><p>"Yes. I hope so. My watch has stopped"- he took it off and handed it over- "but it's probably not the battery, because it's almost new."</p><p>"Hmm." the man made vaguely, eyeing the watch. "How old?"</p><p>"Not quite four years." It had been a Christmas present from Stella. "B-but I had an accident a few days ago. Maybe dirt got in... or something..." he added uncertainly.</p><p>The man, who wore no name tag or anything, nodded. "I'll take a look at the problem later." He looked up and past Sam, presumably giving Alice and her friend- who were still discussing- an inspecting glance before looking at Sam himself. "If you leave me your name and a phone number, I'll get back to you tomorrow, the day after at the latest."</p><p>"Yeah, sure." Sam waited until the man had pulled out some kind of paper bag and taken out a pen. "Samuel Donnovan, with two N." As he dictated his number, Alice noted in the background, annoyed:</p><p>"You're damn difficult, Vivian."</p><p>"I know, sweetie, that's why we get along so well."</p><p>"I'll call you." the man said, sliding the watch into the bag.</p><p>"Thanks.", Sam replied, turning away after a polite smile. He hadn't taken two steps when Vivian approached him:</p><p>"Hey, you there. Come over here and give us your opinion."</p><p>Uncertain, Sam glanced at Alice, who seemed to sigh and then nodded. "My opinion on what?" he asked reservedly.</p><p>Vivian held two small round earrings under his nose. "These piercings here." As many of them as she already wore on her face and ears, Sam involuntarily wondered where this was supposed to go. Whereas- thinking of Val, who had gotten an intimate piercing while drunk which had become horribly infected, he didn't really want to know.</p><p>"They look pretty much the same," he said slowly and Vivian's face told him it was the wrong answer.</p><p>"The pearl here is bronze, the other is gold."</p><p>"Just make up your own mind, Vivian." Alice rolled her eyes, Vivian paid it back in kind and hung both piercings away.</p><p>"No. Not like that." And then she stomped out without another word.</p><p>"You have interesting friends..." Sam remarked and Alice sighed.</p><p>"Vivian is a bit of a handful, but a wonderful friend. She just broke up with her girlfriend, so she's in a bit of a... bad mood. But don't worry, she doesn't have a problem with men." At the last words, Alice put on a reassuring smile and Sam nodded simply. "Well..." Obviously not in an overly good mood herself either, Alice ran a hand through her disheveled hair. "Do you feel like some hot chocolate?"</p><p>Surprised, Sam looked at her before nodding. "Why not?"</p><p>"Good." Her smile returned. "I want to get to know you a little when we start working together tomorrow. I'll be spending the first few days in the office, by the way, so I can help you."</p><p>"Thank you, that's very nice." He smiled back and held the store door open for her.</p><p>"You're one of us now, and you've truly done Jack a big favor." Something about her expressed a strange matter-of-factness which seemed to go both ways- both in terms of his decision and her reaction, as if she had expected nothing less. It was unintentionally intimidating.</p><p>"Where are we-"</p><p>"Over there." With a curt wave of her hand, she pointed diagonally across the street. "I'd say Milly makes the best hot chocolate in town."</p><p>As they got moving, Sam, striving for an easy conversational tone, asked: "So you're not a coffee drinker?"</p><p>"No." She grinned wryly. "Coffee makes me nervous. And when I tell you, as a female Alpha, that you don't want to experience that more than once, you really don't."</p><p>"Jack compared it to a blizzard in the living room..."</p><p>"No, the blizzard represents anger." She winked at him before turning serious again. "Being an alpha isn't easy."</p><p>"Why is that, exactly?"</p><p>"It always depends on what the basic human character is like, but I'm not necessarily happy with my own sometimes extreme moods, and if you've had a little talk with Jack..."</p><p>"I had." Sam nodded, and she nodded back thoughtfully before they entered the surprisingly large, nonetheless cozy café one after the other.</p><p>Alice waved to the waitress behind the counter, then headed purposefully for a small table in the side area. "Besides the very personal problems," she continued, "there are, of course, the general expectations that others have of you. It adds up."</p><p>Sam nodded, hung his jacket over the back of the chair and sat down. "But Jack said the position of leader isn't inherited, so-"</p><p>"What's it going to be? The usual, Alice?" A waitress interrupted Sam and smiled warmly at Alice.</p><p>"That's right, the usual. How about you, Sam? If you want coffee, go ahead."</p><p>"Yes. No. What's the usual?"</p><p>"A large hot chocolate with cinnamon and marshmallows, no cream." the waitress said, winking at Alice, who grinned.</p><p>"That sounds good." Sam nodded for simplicity's sake, and the young woman nodded as well, leaving them alone again. "What I was going to say..."</p><p>"No, the leader is elected and Jack doesn't stand a chance." Alice grimaced unhappily. "Although he'd do a really good job at it."</p><p>"Who else is up for election?", Sam wanted to know and she sighed.</p><p>"Hank and Phil, everyone else is still too young- you have to be at least 25. Well, and me." Her face distorted a little more.</p><p>"You don't want to," Sam stated and she shook her head.</p><p>"Not really. I want a comfortable home and a family, not a leadership position. People would vote for me, no doubt about it, but... no thanks."</p><p>"Sounds like the two alternatives are more of a dubious pleasure," he remarked, sitting back as the hot chocolate was served. White and pink marshmallows bobbed in the cups.</p><p>"Phil is a little like my dad. A calm guy, full of composure and this everything's-good vibe," she finally said after forcing her marshmallows to take a dive. "But he's too passive." She looked up and if Sam hadn't already been relaxed leaning back, he probably would have backed away, so intense was her gaze suddenly. "We broke up precisely because of that: because for fuck's sake he can't make decisions without first being under pressure that would shape diamonds elsewhere." With a minimal growl he perceived less with his ears than with still nameless senses, she shoved a spoonful of squishy marshmallows into her mouth.</p><p>"Oh..." he did, briefly feeling like he had to hide behind his cup.</p><p>"Well, and Hank is just too aggressive. Even as a normal person, I don't think he'd be a sympathetic one." She shrugged and Sam nodded before sipping his hot chocolate again, which tasted really fantastic.</p><p>"And where will the train go? What do you think?"</p><p>"I have no idea, honestly. Call me selfish, but I don't want to ruin more than thirty years of my life with this responsibility, it's not me. Don't ask me who I'm going to vote for, though, because if word gets out, it'll screw up the whole election."</p><p>"Because you're William's daughter?"</p><p>"Right."</p><p>"I see..."</p><p>They were silent for a moment, sipping hot chocolate, then she asked pointedly casually:</p><p>"How are you feeling? In your new life, I mean..."</p><p>His first response was a shrug. "After the sudden attacks of pain stopped, pretty good. My senses are slowly changing." He tapped his nose and she nodded thoughtfully.</p><p>"Don't let Jack get to you. He probably won't even do it consciously, but that's his way. Intimidate by impressing. If he wasn't a gay Native American, of all things, he'd have the world at his feet."</p><p>"Sad that it isn't like that anyway."</p><p>She nodded gravely. "But that's the way our society is. Well..." With a snide expression, she shrugged. "What do you think of Kevin?"</p><p>Now Sam shrugged. "I have no comparison to others..." he stifled the word <em>omega</em>, because so far they had successfully avoided such words and Alice nodded. "But my first impression is that of a Chihuahua: small, yelps loudly, and immediately tucks its tail."</p><p>Alice grinned. "They're all like that. All suffer from completely excessive possessiveness and mark their territory, but if a cloud blurs the sky- ciao." Then she suddenly became serious. "But they are at the same time incredibly vulnerable and would do everything at any time to maintain their bond. Unfortunately, to the outside world, it often comes across as pretty bitchy." </p><p>"Have you...?"</p><p>"No." Vehemently, she shook her head. "And I won't either, if I can help it. Jack was with Nicholas for quite a while- he's not one of ours- but at one point Kevin made such a huge drama of jealousy that it fell apart with a big bang. And even my mom is hyper allergic to the two my dad has."</p><p>Sam nodded cautiously. It was hard for him to imagine how the instincts of werewolves so massively affected the lives of the outwardly completely normal human side. And then he thought of Stella, wondering what would have happened if he had been attacked during their relationship. The frosty reality caught up with him as he remembered that Jack had told him about male werewolves not being able to have children with human women. He shuddered and quickly took a sip of the slowly cooling chocolate.</p><p>"I don't know if Jack even asked this, but are you really okay with just leaving your old life behind?", Alice wanted to know in a decidedly gentle way, and Sam looked up.</p><p>"I am." he replied more determined than he actually felt. "I lost my job and can't keep my apartment because of it. And in general... the timing was quite right for a change." Why was it so hard for him to mention Stella, anyway? But he probably didn't need to, because Alice put on that kind of facial expression that suggested she could guess what he meant. It didn't really make him feel any better, though. Before she could say perhaps any compassionate words, he changed the subject back to the point at hand:<br/>
"Does anyone actually know who attacked me?"</p><p>With a thoughtful eyebrow twitch, she leaned back. "If it had been one of us, Dad would have informed everyone by now. If it was one of the edge-"</p><p>"From the edge?"</p><p>"On the edge of our territory, in the small villages and settlements, there are a few families who belong only halfway to us. They could easily hide or protect someone who is slowly losing himself. Or they might simply miss the fact that there's a rogue wandering around out there." She made a strange gesture. "That's what I suspect, by the way. A foreign rogue. As much as Dad and the other leaders don't talk to each other, things like that are normally communicated because they're a danger to everyone."</p><p>"So this <em>someone</em> is still running around out there?" Uneasily, he twirled the cup between his fingers.</p><p>With a somewhat unhappy smile, Alice said: "Probably. But don't worry, Dad will find him and then tell you right away."</p><p>"Why did your father save me?"</p><p>Alice's smile faded. "You mean he could have just let you die?"</p><p>Sam nodded. William and Michelle had saved him, changed him- but <em>why</em> they hadn't explained to him.</p><p>"I don't know. But to let you die, and probably in horrible agony... I can't imagine Dad doing this."</p><p>"But he practically adopted me with it. Why would anyone do that?" Perhaps this connection was not entirely fair, after all, there had hardly been much time for such considerations, but now Sam was bound to William forever, and at least for himself it meant unforeseeable consequences at the moment.</p><p>"I don't know, Sam. You'd best ask him yourself. Mom was going to invite us all to dinner on Saturday, so I guess you'll have a chance."</p><p>"Oh... okay..." He nodded hastily and finished his hot chocolate before spooning the last of the marshmallows out of his cup.</p><p>Alice scribbled something on her napkin. "Here. If you need anything, let me know. Especially if it's about Jack and the rest of our gang." It was her number and Sam nodded, forcing a smile on his lips.</p><p>"Thanks." A small pessimistic part of him feared he would need her backup.<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>~<br/>
<br/>
</p><p>During the rather silent dinner, Sam's phone gave off an email chirp. Since being handed his dismissal notice, his inbox had been unusually empty. Nonetheless, he checked it when Jack- still chewing- took a call.</p><p>
  <em>S. Maldarizzi.</em>
</p><p>Sam blinked at the sender and bit his lower lip before closing the mail app without opening the mail itself. Stella had apparently been in a hurry to resume her maiden name. It hurt. And it made him angry at the same time. He put the phone aside and gathered up the dirty dishes to take them to the kitchen.</p><p>Jack's muffled voice came from the study, and as Sam closed the dishwasher and stepped back into the living room, he suddenly felt a little lost in this apartment that was now helter-skelter his new home and didn't feel like it yet.</p><p>The ringing of his phone distracted him and he hurried back into the gallery, only to grimace when he read the caller's name: <strong>Stella</strong>. What the hell did she want all of a sudden?</p><p><em>"Che cosa voi?"</em> [What do you want?] He had a hard time finding a neutral tone, although even a purely polite answer would sound different.</p><p><em>"Devo chiederti un favore."</em> [I need to ask you a favor.] Her voice was also decidedly neutral.</p><p><em>"Dimmi."</em> [Tell me.]</p><p>Contrary to her usually wordy style, she explained curtly that two important letters had been sent to her old address by mistake- he should forward them to her.</p><p>"I don't live there anymore," he interrupted her almost brusquely, still in Italian.</p><p>"Your name is still on it."</p><p>"I know. Val's taking care of it-"</p><p>"Why Val?" Now it was she who interrupted him, but at least now some curiosity came through.</p><p>"Because I'm out of town."</p><p>"... oh." It seemed to surprise her.</p><p>"Call Val about those letters." Val would probably tell her some of the things Sam would never say to her. The two had actually gotten along well all these years, but Val's loyalty was immovably Sam's.</p><p>"I will." She hesitated audibly, and Sam couldn't decide whether to just hang up or to drag out the conversation some more- though there was definitely no point. He couldn't change the reason she had left him for, so a second chance was out of the question. "Where are you now?" There was something in her voice making him close his eyes.</p><p>"Churchrock." <em>I miss you, Stella.</em></p><p>"Churchrock... wow... why there of all places?"</p><p>"I got a new job here." Did he sound as pathetic as he felt right now? Did his words sound like he had run away? Was that what she thought of him? He hoped not.</p><p>"Ah, yeah I heard they shut some business down at your place. But glad you found something new so quickly."</p><p>"I'll start tomorrow." He didn't manage to ask her how she was or anything like that, but if she had let it be known at this moment that she wanted him back- he would have dropped everything and jumped into the car.</p><p>"Okay, well, I'll stop bugging you and give Val a call. Good night, Sam."</p><p>Before he had a chance to return the greeting, she hung up. For a moment he stared at his phone and bit his lip, tears welled up in his eyes and at the same time he angrily wanted to throw the phone against the wall.<br/>
Why? Why did she throw away eight years just like that? He hadn't found an answer to that in the past few months, and he was unlikely to find one now.</p><p>"Hey..." Though Jack's voice was quiet and gentle, Sam winced.</p><p>"Hey." He failed not to sniffle, but avoided Jack's gaze.</p><p>"That was Italian, right?"</p><p>"M-hm."</p><p>"Nice language. Sounded like a not-so-nice conversation, though."</p><p>"No. My ex." Saying that was like pushing a knife into his own flesh.</p><p>Instead of a reply, Jack wrapped his arms around Sam from behind and propped his chin on his shoulder. Only after a moment did he ask: "Do you want to talk about it or would you rather have hot chocolate?"</p><p>"I'll have a hot chocolate," he murmured, patting Jack's arm as an encouragement to let go. But Jack sighed first before backing away.</p><p>"You can talk to me."</p><p>"I know. But I don't want to."</p><p>"Okay... make yourself comfortable on the couch and pick out some shallow nonsense on TV, will you?"</p><p>"Hmm..." Sam nodded weakly, though he didn't feel like watching TV at all. He would have been content to drink the second hot chocolate here in the gallery or in the kitchen, but Jack probably just wanted to distract him.</p><p>It took him a moment to turn on the TV, find a tolerable volume and a brain-off program to go with it- and then Jack arrived with two large mugs.</p><p>"What is it?" Jack wanted to know and passed one of the hot cups. "Does the sight of me bother you?" The slight tease made Sam smile.</p><p>"No. But looking at you makes me cold every time."</p><p>Puzzled, Jack looked at him before sitting down. "Now that's not the answer I was expecting."</p><p>"Well, what did you expect? That I'd get hot?" Sam asked with a wink, blowing gently on the hot chocolate. "Sorry, but I'm into women."</p><p>"Too bad..." Jack positioned himself a little differently so that his privates were well displayed. "You're a handsome guy."</p><p>With a half-hearted smile, Sam stirred his cup. "Thanks, but that doesn't change my sexual attitude."</p><p>"I know." Jack sighed and cast an artificially dramatic glance at Sam before looking toward the TV. "Like I said, too bad."</p><p>"Don't let Kevin hear you say that."</p><p>"Kevin knows perfectly well not to let himself do certain things again." The underlying sharpness in Jack's voice made Sam think of Nicholas, whom Alice had mentioned. "And as long as he's well-behaved, I don't need to make tougher rules."</p><p>Although Sam didn't want any more details- he'd already seen enough- he couldn't help a cheeky smirk.</p><p>Promptly, Jack leaned back toward Sam, then whispered conspiratorially: "But if it came down to it, would you help me?"</p><p>"With what?" Sam whispered back, amused.</p><p>"Punishing him with jealousy." Jack's fingers stroked Sam's thigh, then patted his privates. "I could gift you with some attentions Kevin very, very rarely receives..."</p><p>Sam's pulse skyrocketed, though his mind couldn't quite follow yet.</p><p>
  <em>Jack. Alpha. Trust. Safety.</em>
</p><p>His nose twitched, his mouth went dry.</p><p>
  <em>Jack. Sex.</em>
</p><p>Jack's golden eyes held him captive as if under hypnosis and he swallowed with difficulty, trying to swallow with the spit also the desire for Jack's warm skin on his.</p><p>But it was Jack who suddenly backed away with quivering nostrils.</p><p>Sam blinked at him in confusion.</p><p>"You smell like wolf." Jack said quietly, a tiny bit surprised, and before Sam could say anything, he added: "You should go to bed early. You're going to need your strength over the next few days."</p><p>"Okay..." Sam nodded, because Jack was right. Still a little unsettled, he drank the rest of his hot chocolate and stifled any further question.<br/>
He smelled like wolf. He didn't want to know any more than that. Even so, he knew it wouldn't let him sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Alpha-cuddles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next two days went by in a whirl.</p>
<p>Sam was introduced to all the employees and with a laugh he promised to bring a big round of cakes.</p>
<p>He had Alice show him the work program- which, fortunately, was quite similar to the one he had worked with for years.</p>
<p>He got on the phone with Max, his computer nerd buddy, and got advice about a new computer for his office, and then talked to Michelle about it, who promised to take care of it.</p>
<p>He had a rather long conversation with Terence, Jack's and Alice's cousin, about the company website, Sam's own profile on it, and how his knowledge of German and Italian could be of benefit.</p>
<p>He tried with little success not to be intimidated by Alice's aura as he sat next to her for hours doing paperwork with her.</p>
<p>He talked to his aunt on the phone extensively, and even here was quite unsuccessful in his attempt to comfort her.</p>
<p>And he got the first part of his stuff delivered Friday afternoon. Along with Jack, Tommy and the van driver, he unloaded the boxes and bags and found himself afterwards in quite a mess in what had been a guest room that morning. Jack took it with humor.<br/><br/></p>
<p>~<br/><br/></p>
<p>Sam flopped down on the couch where Jack was already sitting, zapping through the programs.</p>
<p>"Anything you're in the mood for?" he wanted to know, getting stuck on an old sitcom.</p>
<p>"No, I'm not in the right frame of mind right now..."</p>
<p>"Well, you don't need a brain for this one either. The jokes are so flat, a flea can run underneath without bumping its head."</p>
<p>Sam chuckled a little goofily and got comfortable. The program rushed past him and he laughed now and then automatically when Jack did too. A strange exhaustion spread through him, making his limbs feel leaden and the light dim. Some dirty joke was cracked and he turned to Jack as he commented on it, but the words didn't really reach him. Instead, he saw flashing golden eyes, lips drawn up like flews, and gleaming white teeth.</p>
<p>Screams. Shrill screams.</p>
<p>A wolf's head with flashing eyes, its muzzle half open as if the animal wanted to speak.</p>
<p>A man roaring in pain. A woman shrilly shouting a name.</p>
<p>But Sam saw nothing but the wolf, its head hurtling disembodied toward him, and then there was something warm and soft at his mouth. Whatever it was, with a frantic movement he wanted to wipe it away, wanted to back away, wanted to scream-</p>
<p>"Sam!"</p>
<p>He blinked into Jack's golden eyes. He had his hand on Jack's throat, and Jack held Sam's wrist in an iron grip. "What-?" Confused, he pulled his hand back, literally clutching it to his chest.</p>
<p>"Sam, you must have been staring at nothing for five minutes." Jack, who was fairly close to him, looked at him with concern. "I tried to... well, wake you up, but... I figured if a kiss didn't help, I'd call an ambulance."</p>
<p>"Oh..." Sam slumped down and began to shake. "I... sorry, I..."</p>
<p>"I didn't think you'd react so aggressively."</p>
<p>"It was like one of those nightmares," Sam whispered. "But I am... was... awake...?"</p>
<p>Jack eyed him seriously, thoughtfully, then leaned back a little. "That sounds like a trauma blackout."</p>
<p>Sam shuddered. He'd been looking at Jack, hadn't he? But had Jack triggered it? Because he was a werewolf and Sam had been attacked by werewolves? But Jack was sitting here in human form...</p>
<p>"Sam?"</p>
<p>"Hmm?"</p>
<p>"How are you feeling?"</p>
<p>"Confused. Tired."</p>
<p>Jack nodded and smiled weakly. "Come here..." he said softly, holding out his hand.</p>
<p>Sam hesitated, but then he literally threw himself into a hug, and as he relaxed, his body was shaken by a brief but violent tremor. It felt so good to be held, to feel the warm skin.</p>
<p>
  <em>Jack. Safety. Trust.</em>
</p>
<p>"You know you can come to me anytime," Jack said quietly, stroking Sam's hair, his back. "Your senses probably aren't strong enough yet to perceive me at the ridiculous <em>distance</em> of where we sleep, but I'm here for you, okay?"</p>
<p>"Okay..." Sam murmured against his shoulder.</p>
<p>"I'm serious, Sam. Lone wolves die while a pack survives. You're one of us now. I'm an Alpha, I can protect you."</p>
<p>"Not from nightmares."</p>
<p>"Not exactly, no," Jack conceded. "But still. You can come to me whenever you need me."</p>
<p>"Okay..." muttered Sam again, taking a deep breath. Jack's scent of hot, dry summer forest soothed him and he involuntarily snuggled closer, half-crawling onto his lap. His hands slid over Jack's body, the soft skin of his back, his hairy chest- he could almost hear the fine hairs crackle- and his beard-stubbled cheek.</p>
<p>"Do you want to make it a real kiss now?" Jack asked softly.</p>
<p>Sam jerked back, letting go of Jack and tearing his eyes open.</p>
<p>Jack smiled in amusement, but there was something else in his face that Sam couldn't interpret, his eyes glittering expectantly.</p>
<p>"I... sorry..." Sam couldn't get out more than a stammer.</p>
<p>"You don't have to apologize, Sam," Jack said, and the hairs on the back of Sam's neck stood up at the way Jack spoke his name, "I know I have some effect."</p>
<p>An indefinable sound escaped Sam and he hastily stood up. "I... I should... check on my laptop. I need to..."</p>
<p>"Okay..." Jack said, smiling, nodding, and as if that officially dismissed Sam, he turned and stumbled away.<br/><br/></p>
<p>~<br/><br/></p>
<p>With a tired sigh, Sam closed his laptop- at least he now had a computer to work with on Monday- and looked around his room. Val had labeled the boxes- or had them labeled- but he had a dull feeling he was going to have to search like a madman for the things he wanted to find.</p>
<p>Speaking of Val... he should call and thank him.</p>
<p>Sam set the laptop down on the bed next to him and was about to reach for the phone when it started buzzing and made him wince.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Val</strong>
</p>
<p>"Hey, I-"</p>
<p>"SAAAAAAM!" A shrill happy screech.</p>
<p>Sam yanked the phone away from his ear and grimaced. "Good God, Val, what's wrong?"</p>
<p>"SamSamSamSamSam! You won't believe what happened!" Val sounded as excited as a little kid.</p>
<p>"Then tell me..." His ear rang.</p>
<p>"God, Sam... I don't believe it. You don't believe it."</p>
<p>"Val... calm down."</p>
<p>"I... no, Matt... we're... we're taking over your apartment."</p>
<p>Sam blinked, dumbfounded. "Excuse me?"</p>
<p>"Matt and I are moving in together. Into your old apartment. God, I was so stupid, I really thought he was going to break up with me, but he was just afraid I wouldn't like his idea of moving in together, you know, because so far he's just in the barracks and-" Val talked a blue streak and after Sam got over the initial shock, he had to smile.</p>
<p>At least until he realized what that meant. Val and Matt would be living in his old apartment. Where he had lived with Stella. They would certainly make the same room their bedroom and-</p>
<p>"That sounds great," Sam said.</p>
<p>"Yeah, doesn't it?" Val giggled a little too long, then got serious. "The stuff did get to you, didn't it?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, I was actually going to call you right at that moment, you know." Sam would have liked to change the subject more thoroughly, because with each passing second, the image of Val and Matt having sex in his- Sam's and Stella's- bedroom became clearer.</p>
<p>"Oh. What timing." Val giggled again.</p>
<p>"Yeah..." Sam licked his lips, which felt like something was pressing against them. Like a kiss.</p>
<p>"I took Monday off. That's when the second moving company is coming. The stuff should be with you by the evening."</p>
<p>"Yeah, okay..."</p>
<p>"You talked to Jack about-"</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's all worked out, there's plenty of storage."</p>
<p>Val was silent for a moment. "You don't sound good."</p>
<p>"I-" Sam paused, looking for an excuse for some reason.</p>
<p>"You shouldn't have gone back to work right away. Whatever attack that was, you should have-"</p>
<p>"It's okay," Sam interrupted him, managing a soft laugh. "Actually, that's exactly what's good for me." He understood Val's concern and didn't want to lie to him, but he couldn't tell him the truth either. "Really. I'm just standing in the middle of the mess of boxes right now, and to think there's more to come..."</p>
<p>Val laughed softly, too, but it didn't sound entirely genuine. "Let me know if you need any help."</p>
<p>"Sure." Sam nodded thoughtfully to himself. "How much do I owe you?"</p>
<p>"Nothing."</p>
<p>"Come on, moving is expensive, the way is long. Two thousand? Three thousand?"</p>
<p>"Nothing, Sam. You've got enough on your plate."</p>
<p>"Cut the crap, Val, you know that-"</p>
<p>"It's more important to me to know that you're taking a step in the right direction and take care of yourself, okay?" Val's tone was harsh, and Sam knew full well after all the years of friendship that he'd better shut up now. But since Val didn't continue speaking, he finally said quietly, almost pitifully:</p>
<p>"Okay."</p>
<p>"Good."</p>
<p>Jack poked his head through the half-open door and blew a kiss into the room.</p>
<p>"Jack sends his regards," Sam said with a smile, and Jack grinned.</p>
<p>"Say hi back to him." Val sighed. "Okay... Sam, it's been a busy week and... you should go to sleep now. I will too."</p>
<p>"Yeah, I know. Say goodnight to Matt."</p>
<p>"Will do. Sleep tight."</p>
<p>"You too."<br/><br/></p>
<p>~<br/><br/></p>
<p>Sam woke up with his hands on his throat, scratching at it as if they were trying to pull something away. Sharp teeth, for example. Breathing heavily and drenched in sweat, he lay in bed and it was a while before he found the strength to reach for his phone and check the time.</p>
<p>
  <em>2:43am</em>
</p>
<p>His hand shook and almost knocked the phone off the bedside table. With difficulty he swallowed the lump in his throat and suppressed the urge to reach for his throat and make sure there was nothing. It was just a dream, a nightmare- again.</p>
<p>Nausea crept up from his stomach and he struggled out of the covers, stumbling into the bathroom where he fell painfully to his knees in front of the toilet. But he choked dry, for while his stomach tried a rebellion, his throat felt as if it were closed. It hurt.</p>
<p>"Sam? Are you okay?" Jack reached for his shoulder and without thinking, Sam leaned against him.</p>
<p>"Yeah... yeah, there's nothing..." he muttered.</p>
<p>"Good, another nightmare?"</p>
<p>Sam nodded weakly, his hand moving to his throat, but Jack gently pulled it away.</p>
<p>"Let's go to bed." Jack grabbed him by the armpits and pulled him to his feet.</p>
<p>He let Jack lead him, staggering more than walking, bumping into the bed and dropping onto it, crawling in like a small child.</p>
<p>
  <em>Jack. Alpha. Safety. Home.</em>
</p>
<p>Jack was there, was with him, pulling him in as much as he snuggled into Jack, into a tight embrace which would have been even better without his clothes.</p>
<p>"Do you remember your dream? Talking about it can help."</p>
<p>Suddenly he was very glad he was wearing a T-shirt and boxers. "I don't know," he muttered. "There's always these screams. And I felt like there was something on my throat. Like teeth." A shudder shook him and Jack pulled the covers tighter around them both.</p>
<p>"Shh, it's okay..." Jack's fingers caressed his cheek... his jaw... his neck... and then his lips followed the same path: cheek... jaw... neck.</p>
<p>Sam sucked in a shaky breath, his hand clenching around Jack's shoulder, and he was about to push him off when he felt his carotid artery pulsing under Jack's lips.</p>
<p>"Shh...", Jack did again, "shh... It's just me, just Jack..." His voice was so soft, so soothing...</p>
<p>Sam relaxed, half willingly, half forced, and sank into the pillows, his eyelids fluttering and closing.</p>
<p>"Shh..." Jack's warm hand rubbed circles on his chest with gentle pressure and he could clearly feel his heartbeat, was suddenly fully aware of the feel of the bedding against his skin, and felt Jack's hairy leg against his own.</p>
<p>A sigh escaped him. The tension drained from his muscles a bit more; he almost felt like Jell-O.</p>
<p>"Shh..."</p>
<p>This time the whisper sounded against his ear. It tickled and elicited a fine smile from him. And then he raised his chin as warm lips pressed against his, stretching toward the kiss, disappointment flooding through him as the other's mouth disappeared.</p>
<p>"Sleep now, Sam..."<br/><br/></p>
<p>~<br/><br/></p>
<p>
  <em>Jack. Alpha. Security. Sex.</em>
</p>
<p>Sex?</p>
<p>Sam squinted into the darkness, registering in the same moment both the arm wrapped around him and the boner half rubbing, half thrusting, against his ass. "Jack!"</p>
<p>"Wu-ah?"</p>
<p>"I'm not Kevin!"</p>
<p>"Wha-? Sorry...", Jack mumbled and backed away a bit.</p>
<p>Immediately Sam felt himself missing the physical contact, and he turned to do the big spoon in turn now.</p>
<p>Jack sighed contentedly. "What time is it?"</p>
<p>"I don't know..."</p>
<p>"Okay..." Jack yawned, rubbing his butt in Sam's lap and making a strange munching sound. He mumbled something that sounded like <em>'fuck me if you want'</em>, but Sam wasn't sure if he might have misheard. He definitly didn't want to do that. He wanted cuddles.</p>
<p>Therefore he snuggled against the warm body and let his hand slide over the other's skin until it reached short shaven pubic hair- only then did he become lazily aware of what he was doing, withdrawing his hand.</p>
<p><em>Heavens, I'm completely done</em>, he thought, but couldn't bring himself to move away from Jack.</p>
<p>Jack's low, sleepy moan startled him again, and almost horrified, he realized that he was holding Jack's dick in his hand, apparently rubbing it hard. Immediately he let go and turned around.</p>
<p>Back to back, butt to butt.</p>
<p><em>Good God, I'm more than done.</em> Vaguely, he was aware that in the months since Stella had left him, he had merely touched himself once or twice because he had been completely listless.</p>
<p><em>I'm underfucked,</em> he thought blearily, <em>nothing more, nothing less. I miss Stella.</em></p>
<p>Jack rumbled quietly in his sleep, Sam answered with a sigh. He was not alone, but still he felt lonely.</p>
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